#just as soon as I've saved up enough money for at least 2 years so we can live off of that because I wouldn't be finding a job again soon
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Still a mood. Especially squishing my head into a copier. Maybe then I’ll be able to think of a way out of this annoying continuous mess we’re in.
Photo spam 6
He’s hot and a mood
#i'm moody#and pissed#yesterday was not a good day for myself or my sister#some idiot named jeff yelled at us#so now we've had 2 different people named jeff get mad at us#good thing this one didn't try to kill us though#jaejoong#kim jaejoong#jyj jaejoong#dbsk jaejoong#jyj kim jaejoong#dbsk kim jaejoong#still can't believe he was adopted and made himself better#starting at 15#him and jonghyun have both inspired me to try and make myself better#unfortunately like I've said before nothing works#i feel like I'm not even allowed to laugh anymore or something bad will happen#maybe I'll go rebel by eating my work food and my ice cream later#then I can just survive on cup noodles for 4 days and starve myself after because we can't afford anything#and my mom just told me a little bit ago that we need to start saving up for or very expensive taxes again#I want to win the lottery then marry jaejoong and quit my job#i've gotten to the point i just cant work for too long anymore and i've only had this new job for about 6 months#but if they're going to keep getting mad at me for random things and trying to help my sister when there's literally nobody training her#because that idiot bitch decided to get trained for a different position then im gonna quit#just as soon as I've saved up enough money for at least 2 years so we can live off of that because I wouldn't be finding a job again soon#or if i could just work from home and not have to leave the house anymore unless it's so we can get more food or go out to eat occasionally#which we cant do because then we have too much fun away from the house and we can't have any fun because we aren't allowed to and so then#something bad happens to us again or to a friend or relative#the last time we had too much fun we lost grandma :'(
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Day 2 - praise
"Babysitter" - Sub!Mike x reader
ִֶָ𓂃˖ ִֶָ✰࿐ warnings - sex replacing money, dry humping, whiny!Mike, dom!reader, praise (duh)
ִֶָ𓂃˖ ִֶָ✰࿐ wc - 985
Babysitting was one of the highlights of your week. Going from numerous kids a week, you now only babysat one alongside your new part-time job.
Abby was your favourite by far. Her overjoyed personality was easily enough to raise your spirits whenever you felt like life wasn't going your way. Just a few hours a week with her allowed you to balance out the draining days of work.
Hearing her talk about each drawing she had done without you, the details of the specific colours used and the arrangement of each figure on the paper was a topic you listened to her excitedly talk about for ages.
You knew that's something she needed. Having only mentioned her brother a few times, you gathered that he was her sole caretaker and worked night shifts.
Recently Abby changed her hour long talks from her drawing to the nights spent at her brothers work place, you've now been told that Mike works as a night security guard for a place that shut down years ago.
Explains why he didn't hire you for every night.
Normally, the money owed was on the living room table, stamped onto it by a mug filled with the remnants of what looked like morning coffee. Yet tonight, as you grabbed your bag after putting Abby to bed, the money was nowhere, just the lone mug.
As much as you did this job for Abby, you also really needed the money. So you waited. Mike would probably come home soon, or so you thought, and within a few minutes of waiting on the couch, it seemed the tiring day had caught up to you.
Your head hitting the arm rest with your bag still hanging off your shoulder.
You're startled awake, the feeling of a hand quickly moving off your shoulder waking you.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you"
Meekly looking down at you was Abbys brother, Mike, his hands awkwardly shifting in his pockets.
"No, it's fine I should be on my way, must be pretty late"
Nodding his head he watched you stand ready to walk you to the door but you stopped.
"Hey uhm I didn't notice any cash on the table, just wondering if you mightve forgotten...or something"
You're friendly tone faltered as you saw the small smile drops from Mike's face.
"Yeah, sorry about that. i-its just that, I just got the new job, and they haven't given me my first pay cheque. I can check if I've got any cash saved in my room -"
You cut him off grabbing him by the hand as he turned to the direction of his room.
Holding onto it your thumb stroked the back of his hand, your eyes raking down his frame and back to his eyes full of stress and exhaustion.
"Listen it's fine, I work a part time so I can do without the pay for this week, at least."
You observed the breath of relief as he thanked you, a sudden urge of confidence rushing through you.
"Maybe you could pay me another way though..?"
Mike quizzically looked down at you, confusion soon erased off his face once you took another step forward now chest to chest with him.
Your lips quickly met his while you dragged him back to the couch, climbing onto his lap to straddle him. Parting from him a strand of spit connecting your lips to his, Mike's eyes were blown wide his pupils filling a large part of his brown iris'.
"Shit..this is..we can't your Abbys babysitter..fuck - wait keep going."
Mike's contradicting words were easily swayed to those of agreement as your hips dragged forward and backwards against his growing erection.
"You like that don't you, hm"
"Fuck yes please-please don't stop"
His hands had a tight grip on either side of your hips, you swiftly pulling them up and under your shirt, letting him explore your bra covered chest. His hands ferociously moved at the access to your skin, one travelling under your bra to caress the supple skin and growing bud.
With his head tilted back, you easily leaned forward, biting and kissing at Mike's neck, bruises had already begun to form. The soft pink hues were sure to transform into dark red bruises by morning.
He lets out whimpers at each of your movements, his hips now thrusting upwards to match with your own rhythm.
"Such a good boy" breathlessly you remove your shirt and unclipped your bra letting it fall to the floor, your pants joining the building pile of clothes.
Now, just in your panties, you straddled Mike again, but this time his dick was out, hard, wet, and thick. You rubbed against his erection, now it was just a thin piece of material separating your soaking pussy from Mike's cock.
He reacted even more needy to this, whines and pleas coming from his mouth.
"Please, wanna cum- please let me cum."
Panting out you placed your hand on his shoulder for balance, your hips moving more erratically.
"Wait baby, just a bit more-oh my fuck..I'm gonna come"
Looking into Mike's eyes, his Adams apple bobs up and down, they trail down your body before making eye contact again. A dazed look across both of your faces.
"Too much-im gonna cum"
Shaking your head side to side you crashed your lips against his, the wet saliva coating both of your swollen lips. Your tongue easily dominates his and its like he's become putty, you could make him do anything right now.
The kiss sends you over the edge, the coil snapping inside you, and you no longer hear Mike's whiny whimpers while your eyes are shut so tightly all you see are white flashes.
Coming back to reality, you feel thick, gooey liquid seeping into the material of your panties. Stroking the side of Mike's face, you head rest against his shoulder,
"Good boy did so good f'me"
Kinktober Masterlist
#kinktober 2024#kinktober#smut#mike schmidt imagine#mike schmidt x reader#mike schmidt smut#mike schmidt#fnaf movie#fnaf smut
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"Sun and Rain Part 2: Age of the Empire"
Chapter 33
"Ryloth"
A "Bad Batch" fanfic!
Pairing: Hunter x fem OC, Echo (more best friend pairing)
A/N: Here we are, back again, my lovelies! I know I said recently that I've been lacking motivation to write this story, but I'm not gonna stop anytime soon. Though, all of a sudden, I was just hit with motivation like a ton of bricks and wrote most of this in the last 2 days!
We're heading to Ryloth, my friends!! This covers episode 11 and most of episode 12 of TBB season 1 and I kinda skip through a couple parts, so hopefully it's not too rushed. Enjoy y'all!!
Taglist: @the-sad-batch , @nimata-beroya , @intrepidmare , @legolkenxbi , @tech-aficionado
@ladykatakuri , @d1n0-dan , @sammi9498 , @darthzero22 , @scarlettrose9901
@thebadbatchscyare , @chxpsi , @ilikemymendarkandfictional , @4pplecider , @locitapurplepink
@l-lend , @nekotaetae , @eternalwaffle , @merkitty49 , @avathebestx
@idoubleswearimawriter , @techs-stitches , @fantasyproductions , @totallyunidentified , @dreamsandrosies
《 Chapter 32
》 Chapter 34
All chapters (Part 2) (Part 1)
Explanation: The Bad Batch meet a young Twi'lek girl named Hera who later enlists their help to save her parents on Ryloth.
A couple months went by and both the Bad Batch and the Koriena Force were being kept busy with all sorts of jobs from Cid. It kept the two squads apart for days, sometimes weeks at a time and their time together was brief, which was a little disheartening for Wrecker and Rina as well as Echo and Lex. Tech and Irys would act indifferent, but everyone else could tell that even they kinda missed each other, too, during those long periods of time apart. Despite all that, they all at least were making money, which was helping them with their survival. It wasn’t the most ideal situation, but it was keeping them busy.
At one point, the Bad Batch were sent off to do a weapons drop with some Twi’leks from Ryloth. From what they’d heard, things on that planet were a bit rough at the moment due to an increased Imperial presence there. They’d heard about more of that happening on other planets since Raxus and wondered if it was another potential Imperial occupation to add to the list. It seemed the group they were delivering weapons to were a couple of freedom fighters who were intent on opposing the Empire, which the Clones warned them would be dangerous.
When they’d met with the Twi’leks on one of Ryloth’s moons, they were surprised to see a young girl with the freedom fighters. One perhaps a year or two older than Omega, with green skin and green eyes bright with wonder upon seeing the Marauder. She went over to Omega asking if she could see inside and, with Hunter’s permission, Omega took her inside the ship.
Kimber stuck around with the boys to make sure the weapons were sufficient enough for Gobi, the client, before letting them know she was gonna check on the girls and let them know things were finishing up. When she walked in, the two of them were near the back of the ship and Omega was telling the other girl about her room.
“Well, technically, it’s our gunner’s mount,” Omega told her new friend, “but when we’re not getting chased or shot at, it’s my room.”
“Who’s chasing you? Are you in some kind of trouble?” the young Twi’lek asked.
“I thought you were in trouble. Isn’t that why we’re here?” Omega asked back.
It was then Kimber walked forward, removed her helmet and spoke up, saying as though she hadn’t heard anything, “What are you girls up to?”
The two of them turned to look at her and Omega responded, “I was just showing off my room.”
Kimber looked at the Twi’lek girl, whom she realized was also a few inches taller than Omega, and inquired, “What’s your name, dear?”
“I’m Hera,” the girl answered.
Omega took the lead and introduced Kimber, saying, “This is Kimber. She’s not a Clone, but she’s been part of the squad for a long time.” Then she smirked and added, “She’s also Hunter’s sweetheart and they’re so cute together.”
Kimber’s cheeks went slightly pink at Omega talking about her and Hunter as the two girls giggled. “Thanks, Omega,” she said a bit shyly. She turned back to Hera and commented, “You seemed pretty amazed by our ship when you came over.”
“Oh, I love learning about new ships. They fascinate me. I want to be a pilot one day,” Hera informed her with a big smile.
“A worthy ambition,” Kimber commented. “Well, girls, we’re just about finished outside if you want to wrap things up in here.”
“Okay,” said Omega.
With that, Kimber put her helmet back on and returned to the others outside. A few seconds later, the girls emerged from the ship, both smiling brightly at each other as they waved goodbye and Hera walked away with the other Twi’leks.
“Make a new friend?” Hunter inquired of Omega.
“She’s kind of strange. I like her,” she answered.
“She seemed very sweet,” Kimber added.
Holding up a finger, Omega stated as a matter of factly as she walked back to the ship, “Did you know flying’s about a feeling?”
The boys and Kimber all watched her curiously as she walked away and Tech asked aloud, “What feeling?”
No one really answered as the rest of them followed after Omega back to the ship.
“She didn’t do anything to my ship, did she?” Tech asked as they boarded.
“Of course not,” Omega answered, smirking and shaking her head. “I kept my eye on her.”
Then Hunter said, looking at Tech, “Excuse me…your ship?”
“Yes. I am the primary pilot of this vessel, so therefore, it is my ship,” Tech responded.
“I am the Sergeant and leader of this squad, so it’s actually my ship,” Hunter retaliated, the faintest hint of a smirk on his face.
“I fail to see how rank has anything to do with it when I'm the one who flies it almost every time,” stated Tech.
Echo cried out, “Hey, I pilot the ship, too!”
Kimber stepped in and replied, “The key phrase from what Tech said is ‘almost every time’. Except for Omega and myself, you all fly the ship at times; therefore, it is our ship. Got it?”
Wrecker, who had just been listening to the conversation, butted in with, “She's got a point.”
Begrudgingly, Tech responded as he sat in the pilot's seat, “Oh, very well.” Then he started powering up the Marauder to leave.
As everyone moved about the ship, Hunter came over to Kimber. “You're quite the mediator sometimes,” he commented.
With a shrug, she grinned and said, “I've learned how to handle you boys.”
He nodded, but then leaned in closer and whispered, “Though, we both know this is, in fact, my ship.”
She scoffed, grinned even more and shook her head. Sometimes, her Sergeant was unbelievable. She simply gave him a pat on the arm and relented, saying, “Of course, darling.”
The next day, the squad was just meandering through space, not really in a hurry to get back to Cid on Ord Mantell. Mostly everyone was keeping to themselves for the time except for Omega, who was attempting to fix Gonky's prime power source, and Kimber and Tech, who were sitting in the front of the cockpit in the middle of an important discussion…involving music playing on Kimber's music player.
A lively, upbeat tune was playing and Tech's eyebrows furrowed. “This was the music you listened to on Tatooine?” he inquired, seemingly unimpressed.
“Some of it, yes,” she answered. “It's Max Rebo! He's quite a famous musician, especially on Tatooine. Don't tell me you've never heard of him.”
Nonchalantly, he simply said, “We were raised and trained as soldiers in wartime. We never exactly had the luxury of lounging around and listening to music.”
“Fair, but surely you had to have heard his music playing in 79's or other cantinas you've been to?” she said back.
“It's possible, but I don't have enough data to verify if we have.”
“Then keep listening and see if it sounds familiar. Maybe you might like it, too.”
“I am uncertain if this particular tune is to my taste. It is rather--”
Just then, the screen in front of Tech started beeping and a box popped up. Kimber quickly switched off the music box and got up from her seat, moving over by Tech to see what was going on.
Tech observed what was on the screen and stated aloud as Echo and Wrecker also came over, “We're receiving a recorded transmission.”
Turning over her shoulder, Kimber called for Hunter, who was currently with Omega in the back. When he walked in, she informed him, “We've got a recorded transmission coming in.”
Then Tech added, “However, I do not recognize this frequency.”
“Patch it through,” Hunter told him, taking a seat nearest the entryway.
Tech pressed a button on the console and a hologram appeared in the middle of the area…revealing the familiar young Twi'lek girl they had met the day previous, crouching down and looking around in fear.
"Omega, it's Hera. You have to come back to Ryloth.”
Kimber gasped just as Wrecker asked, “Isn't she the kid from the weapons drop?”
“Hera?” they heard Omega ask aloud, having heard her friend's voice and dashing into the cockpit.
The message continued on, Hera's voice hushed and anxious, “The Empire's taken my parents and they're after me now, too. I'm sending coordinates. Please hurry. I need your help.”
The recording ended and Hunter questioned Omega giving Hera their comm channel, to which Omega answered that it was for emergencies and Hera's message sounded urgent before insisting they answer her call.
Tech, however, wasn't fully convinced. “Perhaps the situation is not as dire as described. Children often overreact,” he said.
“No, we don't!” Omega argued, frustrated and offended.
“That's quite the cynical take, Tech,” Kimber commented. She then directed her attention to Hunter. “Omega’s right. Hera sounded like she was in trouble. We need to go back to Ryloth.”
Hunter opened his mouth to respond, but Omega cut in saying, “You heard her and Hera. She needs us.”
Putting his hand on her shoulder, Hunter responded, “Omega, it’s a big galaxy. We can’t put ourselves on the line every time someone’s in trouble.
“Why not? Isn’t that what soldiers do?” Omega asked in reply.
Her response seemed to strike something within Hunter as he was left unable to say anything back and he got a defeated look on his face. Kimber couldn’t help but grin to herself. Like her, Omega knew how to win Hunter over easily.
With that, they were headed back to Ryloth.
Luckily, they hadn’t gotten terribly far from Ryloth, so it didn’t take too long to get back. Tech had put in the coordinates Hera had sent to their frequency, which took them into a deep canyon. He carefully maneuvered the Marauder through the canyon until they came to a large cave in one of the walls; one big enough to fit their ship. The Clones and Kimber disembarked from the Marauder into the cave that was lit by a few lanterns and with a few crates spread about. Otherwise, there wasn’t much there. They found themselves greeted by a chirping orange and tan Droid waving his mechanical arms at them; Kimber recognized it as a C1 unit. It was followed by Hera, who told them she didn’t think they would come. After Hunter asked why the Empire was after her, she revealed that she was the daughter of Cham Syndulla, a freedom fighter and leader of a large rebellion on Ryloth, and that the Empire was capturing anyone loyal to him. The cave they were in was his old command outpost and she’d been hiding there to avoid the Empire.
“What do you want us to do?” Echo asked her.
“Free my parents from the Capitol. That’s where they’re being held,” Hera answered.
The Clones were all silent and exchanged unsure glances with each other.
“Boys, why are we even questioning this?” Kimber asked them in disbelief. Why were they being so hesitant to help? This wasn’t like them.
Hera tried even harder to convince them by begging, “They can pay you if you get them out. Please…I don’t have anyone else to ask.”
Kimber looked to the others and they still said nothing. She wasn’t going to stand for this, not when a child and her family’s lives were at stake. She walked over to Hera, followed by Omega, and laid a hand on her shoulder, saying, “Of course, we’ll help, Hera.” Then she looked back at the others. “Right, lads?” she asked, prompting them to go along with it with a hard look in her eyes.
Hunter released a sigh and replied, glancing down at Hera, “Let’s see what we’re up against first, but no guarantees.”
It wasn’t quite the answer Kimber was hoping for from him, but it was better than “no”. With that, Hera led them through a tunnel system in the canyon and they made their way up into the rocky hills outside the Capitol area. Once they spotted the Capitol, they all got down flat on the ground and took out their binoculars to observe the situation. There was a large crowd of Twi’leks gathered in the square, looking up to the balconies of one of the towers, and multiple Imperial troopers were stationed around the crowd. The C1 Droid--whom Hera had said was named Chopper--using an audio relay, was able to capture the speech being given by an Imperial officer at the moment.
“Citizens of Ryloth, the shocking attack on your beloved senator has left you shaken, but Orn Free Taa's condition continues to improve, and he will make a full recovery. But the perpetrators of this heinous assassination attempt have been captured.”
“Assassination attempt?” Hunter repeated, glancing suspiciously over at Hera.
“That’s not what happened,” she insisted as the speech continued.
Right after that, Omega said aloud, “Hunter…Crosshair’s here.”
Hearing that, Kimber immediately started looking for him with her binoculars and, sure enough, there he was, standing in front of the crowd with his rifle at the ready. Her entire body tensed up at seeing him there; her grip on her binoculars tightened and her teeth clenched, remembering their last encounter on Bracca.
“Great…just what we need,” she groaned, now just angry at knowing their traitorous brother was there on Ryloth along with them.
Hunter signaled to everyone with his hand to regroup away from the edge and to huddle up. Everyone got to their feet and moved back a few feet, out of view from the gathering below.
“The plasma bridge into the city’s been deactivated,” Hunter stated as they all crouched down and huddled up.
“Well, I say we fly in and blow our way out,” Wrecker suggested.
“The Capitol sensors would detect our ship,” Echo countered.
Glancing back over her shoulder at the crowd below and the Imperial soldiers surrounding them, Kimber commented, “I don’t like the look of this. There are a lot more Imperials here than I expected.”
“Indeed. The troop presence here is similar to that of Raxus. This is a military occupation,” Tech stated.
Echo replied that Ryloth wasn’t a Separatist planet like Raxus and as the two started debating, Hunter suddenly glanced over his shoulder up the mountain behind him before telling everyone to wait where they were and running off. They weren’t sure what he was doing, but about a minute later, there was a sudden metallic crashing sound above them. They all looked up and saw a broken, black Droid-like form fall in front of them, followed by Hunter landing on his feet. It was a probe Droid, its primary eye having been destroyed by Hunter’s vibroblade that he promptly removed from its sparking and smoking remains.
“Oh good…a probe Droid,” Tech sarcastically remarked.
“The Empire will know we’re here,” said Echo.
Tightening her hands into fists at her sides, Kimber added, “And so will Crosshair.”
Hunter gave the order for them to move and they quickly made their way back to the command outpost where their ship was docked. Tech and Chopper went inside the ship to check the Imperial comm channels and see if the probe Droid and sent out any information on their presence on Ryloth.
While they waited, Hera anxiously paced around, hugging her arms. “All my father wanted was peace on Ryloth. Why is this happening?” she asked, downtrodden.
Echo answered calmly, “He’s a voice the people stand behind. That makes him a threat to the Empire.”
“I don’t care about any of that. I just want my parents back,” the Twi’lek girl said in return.
Kimber truly felt sorry for the worried young girl and wanted to say something to comfort her, but in that moment, they heard Chopper chirping and warbling as he and Tech came walking out of the ship.
Still looking at his datapad for a second before looking to the others, Tech informed them all, “We’re all over the Imperial comm channels. They’ve increased patrols within the city.”
Hearing that news, Hunter immediately assumed that Crosshair would be expecting an attack and that they’d lost the element of surprise, deeming this mission an automatic failure and that there wasn’t anything they could do. Once again, Kimber was shocked at how quickly Hunter was to give up on helping Hera and she couldn’t help but feel frustrated at him. Why would he not help her? What was stopping him? Hera insisted they couldn’t leave, but Hunter wouldn’t budge, even when she desperately offered to pay them double.
“All the money in the galaxy won’t matter if we’re dead. What you’re asking us to do, it’s not worth the risk,” he told her sternly.
Angrily, Hera spat back, “Not to you,” and she stormed away, Chopper chirping in frustration at them before following her.
Omega scolded Hunter as the others went back into the ship, “You shouldn’t have said that.” Then she started to go after Hera.
“Being strategic means knowing your limitations, Omega,” he told her back.
She stopped in place, whipped around and replied, “She’s trying to save her family, Hunter. I’d do the same for you.” Without waiting for anything else, she turned back and ran after Hera.
That left Kimber and Hunter alone outside the ship.
“What is wrong with you?” Kimber asked him right away. “Hera is a child and her parents’ lives are in jeopardy. Why would you refuse to help her?”
“You saw the Capitol. There’s no way we’d be able to infiltrate it,” he said back. “It’s too heavily fortified.”
“And…? We’ve dealt with worse odds than that and still succeeded,” she stated. “You’re telling Omega to ‘know her limitations’, but that’s never stopped us before.” She folded her arms across her chest. “I know you, Hunter, and this isn’t like you. What's really going on? Why are you so reluctant to help Hera?”
He looked away and sighed, frustrated.
Looking at him, she tried to place what could possibly be holding him back. He'd seemed hesitant when they first got there, but was at least willing to give the situation a once-over. Since coming back from scouting the Capitol, he was completely against it. Something had changed his mind somewhere between then and now. This wasn't anything they hadn't dealt with before and couldn't handle.
Except for…
“It's Crosshair, isn't it?” she guessed aloud.
His gaze found hers and he didn’t even try to hide in his face that she had guessed correctly. “After everything he did on Bracca…there’s no telling what he might do anymore,” he said. “I won’t have him find us or come after us again. I don’t trust him.”
“Neither do I, but that doesn’t mean we should let the Syndullas suffer,” she replied. “There must be another way.”
“If you have any other ideas, please enlighten me,” he slightly snapped.
“Oh, don’t be like that,” she chided him.
Conflicted, he just shook his head and looked to the ground.
Then she thought of something that would potentially change his mind. She fished out the credit necklace from underneath her armor and held it up in her fingers. “Have you already forgotten your promise?”
He looked up, confused at what she was getting at, but then he saw the credit.
She continued, “You told me you made a promise the day you got this credit to fight for the innocents of this galaxy…a promise I, too, took upon myself when you gave this to me.” She let go of the necklace, letting it hit her armor with a small metallic clink, the look in her eyes imploring her beloved Sergeant to see reason. “If we turn our backs on Hera, then we’re forgoing the promise we both made...and this goes beyond just helping the Syndullas. We fight to make the galaxy better for us and for everyone. If we run and hide, then we’re abandoning those we swore to protect. One day, we’ll have to face reality and if we find the galaxy isn’t better, then we will have failed as soldiers. Would you be able to live with yourself if that happened, Hunter? Because I certainly couldn’t.”
Kimber’s seemingly endless conviction even in the face of uncertain odds never ceased to amaze Hunter. He loved and admired that about her so much. He released a breath, calming himself, stepped closer to her and laid his hands on her arms. “I understand what you’re saying, my love,” he said collectedly, “but this is more complicated than that. The Empire knows we’re here and by extent, Crosshair most likely knows. The chances of us getting captured are higher; more than anything we’ve had to deal with before and we’re no good to Hera or her parents if we end up as prisoners, too.”
Even though she knew there was some truth to his words, Kimber was certain there had to be some other way to help; something else they could do. “Maybe the girls will be able to think of something,” she submitted. “Omega is very clever and Hera has already proven to be quite resourceful. Perhaps, if they work together, they might be able to hatch a plan.”
“Hera would have to really know the inner workings of the Capitol in order to pull off any sort of plan,” he stated.
“This is her home, after all. She could surprise us. You need to have a little more faith in them,” she responded. She rested a hand on the tattooed side of his face. “I know you’re trying to keep us all safe and you have every reason to, but this isn’t about us. This is about a family who needs our help; an influential family, no less, who can help the people here.” She dropped her hand and took a step back. “You and the boys might want to give up, but I won’t. I refuse to. I couldn’t save my own parents…but I can help save Hera’s.”
With that, she turned on her heel and walked away in the direction the girls had gone, ignoring Hunter saying her name behind her. It hadn’t fully dawned on her why she had felt so determined to help Hera until the last sentence had left her mouth. A young girl was trying to save her parents and a sense of guilt seemed to eat away at Kimber for being unable to save her own parents from the Tuskens what felt like so long ago. She couldn’t bear the thought of another girl suffering the same fate. Not when she could possibly do something about it.
It didn’t take her long for her to find the girls and Chopper and the two of them were sitting on the ground, deep in conversation. It didn’t seem like just a casual conversation, however. This seemed more intense and important.
“You girls okay?” Kimber asked them as she approached.
They both turned their attention to her and Omega answered. “More than okay. I think Hera and I have a plan to rescue her parents.”
Kimber smirked, seeing now that she was right to have faith in the girls’ ability to strategize. Hopefully, their plan was one that could possibly work. “You do, huh?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips.
“You don’t believe this can be done either, do you?” Hera asked skeptically.
“On the contrary. I believe you two are very smart and had a feeling you’d be able to think of something if you worked together,” Kimber refuted.
Hera’s eyes widened in surprise and next to her, Chopper let out three low warbles that, to Kimber’s slight shock, sounded a lot like he was saying, “I told you.”
“We can tell Kimber our idea. She might be able to help us,” Omega then told Hera.
“So what’s the plan, you two?” Kimber asked, crouching down next to them.
Getting a look of reassurance from Omega, Hera informed Kimber, “I had the thought of us attacking the Imperial refinery that’s on the outskirts of the city. I’ve been watching it for a while and I know what goes on there enough to plan an attack.”
“Why attack the refinery?” Kimber asked. She wasn’t asking necessarily because she didn’t understand, but more because she wanted to see if Hera understood her own plan.
“It’s been the Empire’s big project here and therefore, very important. If it gets attacked, that should divert all Imperial forces there and out of the Capitol,” said Hera.
Then Omega interjected, “That should give us an opening to get inside and rescue Hera’s parents.”
Kimber bobbed her head, impressed. They knew exactly what they were doing, which she believed they would. “Most refineries are heavily armed for protection. Do you have a way to deal with that?”
“Yes,” Hera responded determinedly. “There are five unmanned perimeter cannons that Chopper can disable. He can easily sneak in and do it.”
Chopper chirped gleefully and flexed his mechanical arms with confidence, making Kimber snicker at him.
Then she said out loud, more to herself, “If we attack the refinery and take out the cannons, the Imperial reinforcements should definitely get redirected there. Our squad can scale the walls and find a way inside the Capitol. Getting out may possibly be a different issue, but we can handle that.” She smiled at both Hera and Omega. “I’m impressed. You girls know your stuff.”
“See? I knew this was a good idea!” Omega exclaimed to Hera.
Even though she had a smile at Kimber’s compliment, it quickly faded as Hera proceeded to ask, “But will it be enough to convince Hunter and the others? Do you think they’ll get on board with our plan?”
“A sound, strategic plan to infiltrate an Imperial-occupied stronghold and mess things up for the Empire?” Kimber rhetorically asked. She let out a proud scoff. “There isn’t a doubt in my mind that they’ll get on board.”
After Kimber, Omega, Hera and Chopper returned to the ship, the two girls immediately pitched their plan to the Clones, complete with hologram projections of the refinery from Chopper to help better visualize what they wanted to do. Kimber watched them with pride as they confidently answered every question the Clones asked with already thought out detail. In the end, it was enough to convince them to take action. Hunter told the girls to be Chopper’s backup, but to stay at a distance. Then he ordered Tech and Wrecker to wait until the cannons were disabled and then move in on the refinery while he, Echo and Kimber scaled the Capitol wall to get in and free Hera’s parents. They’d wait until dark to enact their plan so as to have the most cover as best they could.
As the team all split up to get into their positions, Hunter commented to Kimber, “I guess you were right to have faith in the kids.”
She grinned. “I know I was,” she replied, half serious and half joking. “You really should have more faith, too.”
“If this plan succeeds, then I will,” he said back.
Kimber, Hunter and Echo, after making sure the girls were in position via their comms, they made their way to the outer city wall. Once they reached it, they prepped their climbing magnets.
“Race you to the top?” Echo challenged Kimber.
“Last one up buys Mantell Mix,” she said in return.
With that, the three of them began climbing carefully up the wall. As they got closer to the top, they heard the chatter of comms above them as well as footsteps, signifying the nightly patrol. Hunter held up his hand, signaling Echo and Kimber to wait. However, as Hunter kept climbing, the white helmet of an Imperial looked over the edge down at them.
“A little help?” Echo sarcastically asked.
They heard Hunter’s voice and then suddenly the trooper disappeared from view as they heard the thud of a punch hitting armor. Hunter then reached down and pulled Echo up followed by Kimber.
“Ha! Looks like you owe me Mantell Mix, Kim,” Echo snarkily remarked.
“Oh, stow it,” she begrudgingly replied. “You don’t even eat it.”
She heard Echo lightly chuckle as the three of them continued on down the wall and made their way towards the square.
“Hera said the prison should be underneath that tower,” Hunter informed the other two, pointing to the furthest tower in the square.
“You two head for the prison and break out the Syndullas. I’ll get into the opposite tower and keep a lookout to make sure the Imperial reinforcements head for the refinery,” stated Kimber.
With a bow of the head, Hunter responded, “Understood. Be careful and stay on comms.”
“I will,” she said.
While Hunter and Echo went one way, Kimber went the opposite, heading for the tower on the other side of the square. She snuck through the edge of the common area to where the large door was. After activating, she lifted her rifle, ready to fight, but luckily the area was empty. So far, so good. She continued on up into the tower, carefully coming around each corner in case there was an enemy nearby, but the tower was seemingly empty, which made things easier. She heard Tech over her helmet comm ask Omega if Chopper had disabled the cannons yet, to which she replied that she and Hera were working on it…and to not shoot down their shuttle.
“That’s something I wasn’t expecting to hear,” she whispered to herself upon hearing that response before continuing up the tower.
Finally, she reached the uppermost office, which was also empty, and she moved across the room, the door to the outer balcony opening up and closing behind her.
“I’m in position, Hunter,” she said over her comm, crouching down and setting her rifle on the railing.
A few seconds later, she heard an explosion in the distance and couldn’t help but snicker to herself. It seemed the girls had to improvise and she couldn’t be prouder.
“Omega, I am registering multiple explosions near the refinery,” she heard Tech state over the comm.
Then Omega’s voice responded, “That was us. Cannons are down. Do some damage, Wrecker.”
After hearing the sounds of more distant explosions, Kimber pressed the side of her helmet to activate her comm and said, “Hunter, Echo, the refinery has been hit. Reinforcements should be on the move any minute.”
“Copy that,” she heard Echo respond.
Just as she looked back through the scope on her rifle, she caught sight of the top office doors opening and a trooper walked through, spotting her across the way immediately. Instinctively, she stood up and took up her rifle, ready to shoot, but the trooper, astonishingly, held up his hands by his head. In the dim light, she noticed his armor had blue or possibly teal-colored accents and had a winged pauldron on his right shoulder. It was Clone armor; a Clone Captain’s armor, no less. Seeing him not reaching for his weapon made her hesitate and her rifle lowered slightly, but she kept her eye on him through the scope. Then the unknown trooper surprised her even more by holding up a finger to the lower part of his helmet where his mouth would be and then signaled for her to get down.
She was about to question why, but in that moment, the door at the base of his tower opened and she saw Imperial soldiers running out towards the shuttles that were docked in the square. Swiftly, she fell back to her knees behind the railing and out of sight. When she carefully peeked back over, the troopers were all powering up the shuttles and climbing inside. Then the shuttles started lifting off the ground and flying away…except for one.
In the headlight of the one remaining shuttle, she saw a lone soldier looking back towards the other tower. She lifted up her rifle and looked through the scope to see who it was and what was going on. She saw the back of a bald head, but a set of black armor and a rifle in his hand that looked familiar. Then his head turned and she realized it was Crosshair, who was now giving an order to his squad that had gotten on the shuttle. She saw one of the soldiers come out and tap something on a datapad while Crosshair gestured to a couple others and then to the tower on the other side. Right after that, all of the troopers on the shuttle started filing out and prepping their weapons.
“Blast it…he’s figured us out,” she groaned out loud. She got back down and spoke quietly into her helmet comm, “Hunter, Echo, we’ve been compromised. I think Crosshair has figured out our plan and is stationing a squad just outside. You’re walking into a trap and need to find another way out.”
She waited a couple seconds, but there was no response.
“Hunter, Echo, do you read me? Crosshair knows. It’s a trap!”
No response except for static feedback in her ears. That sound only meant one thing: their communications were being jammed. Neither Hunter nor Echo would hear her warning about the squad outside. They’d walk right into Crosshair’s trap and their whole plan would fail. She had to get to them quickly and warn them. Since the tower had been empty upon entering, she figured she could easily sneak back out, especially since Crosshair’s squad all had their backs to her. She’d get out and make her way to one of the side entrances that would take her to the other tower.
She stood up, ready to take off, but stole one last look across the way. The mysterious Clone soldier that had been there was gone...and when she looked down, so was Crosshair.
Immediately, she stiffened. Where had he gone? He wasn’t anywhere to be seen down below. That was a worse sign and an even bigger indicator that she had to get out and fast. She ran through the balcony doors and back into the office, knowing she had to get to Hunter and Echo as soon as possible.
Kimber activated the doors to the office, ready to run…and instead, found herself face to face with Crosshair.
#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch#bad batch hunter#sergeant hunter#my sergeant#bad batch fanfic#hunter x oc fic#sun and rain fanfic
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hiiii !!! you’re like my favourite writer ever. the whole reason i got into the marauders is because of my love for art and finding art heist baby 🙈
i live in aus and i’m turning 17 soon. i want to do a degree in art history but im scared it wont get me anywhere? what do you think??
hi!!! thank you so much, this is so sweet!!! <3
well, as someone with 2 degrees in art history i am afraid i will be a bit biased here but i say absolutely do it if it's something that you love and are passionate about!
being completely candid here i had the best time in school. the BEST time. i loved every second of what i was doing and learning and it never felt like a chore. then for about 5 months post-grad i wanted to find a very large hole and bury myself in it because i could not get a job that utilized my degree to save my life. they were either extremely low paying (seriously, no person could live off of that wage and they were also PhD preferred) or entry level jobs calling for 5+ years experience ???? Like. GET. REAL. (not to worry tho i just recently got a job (aye) as an exhibitions and collections specialist at a museum so we are so on the up and up again)
also being candid here. you're never going to make a ton of money in this field. you're not gonna be "rich" and 95% of it is who you know. the art world is small. TRUST. also, most positions in an art historical field require at least a master's degree tbh. a lot would prefer a PhD especially if you're looking to do curatorial work in any time period pre 1920s. (so if you're an impressionist/baroque/renaissance kinda person be prepared to get a PhD and be prepared to learn another language aside from english to get a good job in the field) <- i do find that it's easier if you're more modern and contemporary focused to get on with just a masters degree
that being said, if this is what you want to do. if this is what you love. it is never a waste and you will find a way. (if I can find a way anyone can find a way). my best advice is talk to your professors, do internships, work if you can !!!! volunteer at your art museums!!!! meet and talk to the museum professionals in your area and NETWORK!! (I can't stress enough how many times someone has been like "oh you worked [redacted] did you know [redacted]?'" and i could be like "yes!!! i worked under them for two years loved her!! blah blah blah" it goes a long. way. i've had professors send me gallery writing guides and artist biography guides from when they worked at the MET so i would know how to write them, academic advisors in scotland know my art history professors in undergrad and subsequently became my bestie by extension, curators at a museum i volunteered at teach me how to work archival systems when they had a free minute)
talk to as many people as you can!! network!!! get some experience in archival systems, instillation work, art historical research!! work with your local university's/city's museum or archeological center! that way, when you're on your inevitable 239823 interview post-grad, someone at some gallery will be like "oh you worked here? under so-and-so???? you're hired"
i love it. what i do doesn't ever feel like work to me, it's exciting and fun and enjoyable and not something i do so i can do other things. it's not something i do just to make money. it's hard. post-grad is hard. but it's hard for a lot of people rn, not just art historians. i'm always gonna say go for it!!!! it is never a waste to do something you love!!
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Singing My Sorrows (Reboot Wally x Reader)
A/N: This is part 2, to my previous (Reboot Wally x Reader). The character belongs to @bloodrediscream and some of the scenes are based off her artwork. Love your work! You're amazing. There are multiple POV's in this.
I chugged another shot down as tears spilled down my face. How could he do this to me? We spent 2 years together and he cheats on me! After everything I've done for him, the time I put into our relationship. I call over the bartender and ask for another shot. He slides one over to me, as soon as it touched my fingers I down it quickly. The alcohol burned my throat while my tears stained my cheeks. I bit my lips holding back anymore weeps. A soft sigh was made in front of me forcing me to look up at my server.
"You're going to drink me out of business if you keep this up." The bartender, Luka smiled down at me. He handed me a glass of water and some tissues. "Call it hindsight. but I knew you were too good for him."
I scoffed at the comment. "Yeah right." I take the water he offered me and slowly sipped on it. Luka has always been there for me. We've known each other since middle school, and I helped him open this place up once I graduated college. "Luka why haven't we gotten together? We've been friends together for so long it wouldn't even make a difference."
Luka gently patted me on the head. "Well, my sweet (Y/n) to put it simply. I'm very very gay."
My eyes welled up again and I face planted into the bar. My fist banging the painted wood. "It's not fair, I just want to be happy!" I looked up and picked up my shot glass giving it a little wiggle towards him. "Just give me the bottle."
Luka rolled his eyes at me but didn't argue. He had my card on file anyways, and I had more than enough money to pay for it. I already knew I was already nearing my limit so the bottle was more or less for show. I pulled out my phone and began looking through my contacts. I found my ex-boyfriend's number and proceeded to block then delete his number from my phone. He had been on there long enough. I went through all the pictures of us and deleted them. My heart felt heavy and my brain was dizzy. I hated feeling this way. I don't want to be sad anymore. I looked at the stage where the band was playing and then noticed the nearly empty crowd. I checked my phone for the time, it was almost 2AM. I glided my hands over my hair pushing it back and resting my hands on the back of my neck. Luka came back over to me cleaning a glass.
"Hey, I'm gonna close up soon. If you wait for me, I'll take you home."
I shook my head and tried to get up. "No. You've been making googly eyes at the drummer all night. I'm not cock-blocking your one night stand." Luka chuckled.
"I would rather you safe than me getting laid. Do you at least have someone to call to come get you?"
A small smile came onto my lips. At least someone cared about me. I looked through my phone contacts, scrolling through all the familiar names. Everyone I knew was either out of state or too far away. As I scrolled to the bottom of my contact page I noticed the saved number that I had yet to call. It had been 2 weeks since the meet and greet with the famed Welcome Home star, we had exchanged a few texts back and forth but nothing too meaningful. I clicked on his contact photo and looked at my autographed picture of him. I wondered if he was awake. The idea quickly left my mind when my phone was suddenly grabbed out of my hands. I quickly stood up to grab for it but my body failed me due to the alcohol.
"Does someone have a celebrity crush?" I felt warmth come to my face as I tried to regain my balance. "Ha that's too cute, he gave you his number on his autograph."
I reached for the phone again and Luka took a step back, the bar getting in my way. "Luka give it back please."
Luka looked at me and then back at the phone before giving me a knowing smile. "Oh you even texted him a little. Damn, girl you gotta work on your flirting. Sweetheart you've been single for how long?" He counted on his fingers and held them out to me. "2 weeks, and when did you meet this guy?"
I covered my face not wanting to answer. "The day I found out he was cheating on me." Luka nodded still holding my phone hostage.
"Well, maybe he can pick you up. It'll be good bonding time."
"Luka no, do not call him. If you press that button I promise you, I will throw a stool at you."
Luka looked at me with an evil grin in his eyes not caring about my promised threat. My eyes widened as I watched him slowly move his finger to the green call button on my phone. I began to raise a stool of the ground when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked behind me and saw the guitarist from the band, Mr. Romeo. He was an older gentleman, probably in his 50s who got roped into helping his grandson, the bassist. I remember when they first came into the bar and asked Luka for a gig, promising to bring in a crowd for the experience. Luka offered to pay them because of how good they turned out to be, but they all argued and just asked for free drinks and food.
"Hey, Mr. Romeo do you need something." I put the chair that I had begun to lift back on the ground.
"Would you mind doing some vocals with us Ms. (Y/n)? You know my grandson is always too nervous to ask you." He nudged me a little while giving his eyebrows a wiggle. A nervous smile came onto my lips.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Romeo I don't think I can. I've been drinking all night and I can barely walk straight. It wouldn'-"
Mr. Romeo shushed me and looked at the bar. He gave Luka a knowing look while putting his hand out. Luka slid him the bottle of Tequila I had been drinking out of. He grabbed my hand and placed the bottle in it with a big smile. Mr. Romeo went behind me and started gently pushing me towards the stage. "Nonsense, I know when you're drunk. Take a shot for every song and sing your sorrows. It'll be fun. I promise."
I rolled my eyes but stopped resisting and walked to the stage with him. I looked at the clock on one of the walls and internally sighed. At least the bar was about to close.
"You know I have a lag between my drinks."
Mr. Romeo just smiled ignoring my words as we walked up together. I sat the bottle of Tequila and my glass on the stool that was in the middle of the stage. I poured the liquid into my glass and quickly downed it as the music started playing. I felt my thoughts disappear and any doubts I had about coming up here. My nerves didn't exist as there was no one here to judge me and nobody I wanted to impress. The band started playing a generic pop song and as requested I sang the lyrics. Mr. Romeo was right, this was a fun and making me feel a little better. I began to move body and sway to the music, careful not trip over myself. The alcohol brought my voice out. I didn't care if it was terrible, off pitch or anything. I was too busy having fun to care.
~(o3o)~
Luca looked onto the stage with a bright smile on his face. He was happy you were doing something you enjoyed, even if you resisted at first. He did end up calling Wally as soon as you were on the stage, however he didn't answer. To his surprise, Wally called back shortly after. Luka wore a shit eating grin as he answered the call with no care of misunderstandings.
"(Y/n)'s phone how may I help you?" Luka spoke with a high tone customer serivce voice. He looked at you on the stage dancing, and bit back his excitement not wanting it to leak over the phone.
"Who is this? Where is (Y/n)?" Luka was surprised at how silky this man's voice was. Luka placed his elbows on bar, leaning his weight on them as he tried to picture the face Wally was making. Luka cleared his throat before speaking.
"Hi, this is Wally right?"
"Yes it is."
"Great! I'm a friend of (Y/n)'s."
"Uh-huh, that still doesn't explain why you have her phone. Where is she?" The voice sounded almost threatening, it sent a chill down Luka's spine. He shivered as if his body actually felt the cool feeling from Wally's tone.
"Well you see, (Y/n) is currently on stage singing and she needs someone to take her home as she is very drunk. I was wondering if you could do that for me?" A moment of silence went by before Wally spoke again.
"I'll come for her. Send me the address." The call ended as quickly as it started. It was sudden but Luka didn't mind, he shrugged and placed your phone in his pocket. He'd give it back to you once you were done enjoying yourself. He watched as you sang your heart out to these old and new pop songs. You always say you're never gonna go up on stage, but yet everytime you're up there you end up having the time of your life. Luka chuckled to himself while shaking his head. He moved to the tables of his usual late crowd and called cabs for everyone that was still here. The bar quickly became empty and it was just him, you, and the band left. He switched the sign to closed and went back to wiping down the tables.
The door to the bar opened, the sound of the bell causing Luka to look up. He saw a man on the shorter side with deep blue hair messily styled. He wore a white fitted t-shirt and black pants. His pants were accessorized with a maroon belt that bore a cute yellow smiley face on the buckle. It oddly tied the whole outfit together. If Luka wasn't helping you out he would've definitely tried his luck with who he assumed was Wally. Taking a seat at the bar Wally looked at Luka allowing him to see his jet black eyelids. He could understand why you liked him. He was hot. Luka fished for your phone from his pocket and quickly handed it off to the man.
"Here, so she doesn't forget it." Wally took the phone putting it in one of his pockets. Luka leaned towards Wally and pointed at you on the stage. "I give her 5 minutes before all the alcohol starts kicking in."
Wally irked an eyebrow. "Does she have a high tolerance or something?"
Luka laughed and shook his head. "Gods no. She has a very big lag though. She can start at 9 and it won't hit her until midnight. However, she's very good about keeping up with it so she doesn't get wasted."
Wally gave a knowing nod as he followed your movements on the stage. You looked sober from the way you were effortless moving on the stage and singing to the music. He locked eyes with you and gave you a small smile while waving. "She's pretty good."
Luka smiled placing a glass of water in front of Wally. "You should hear her when she's sober." Wally took the glass and took a sip. He suddenly began to choke on the water as he watched you take a pirate swig from a tequila bottle. He looked at Luka with a confused but amused look. Luka face palmed while pinching in-between his eyebrows.
After what felt like an forever, Mr. Romeo finally said last song. I felt relief flood my bones as I could finally take a break. I looked around the room and noticed a new figure sitting at the bar. My palms began to feel clammy as the figure smiled and waved towards me. My eyes widened as I recognized who it was. Before I could run off the stage, I felt a gentle nudge towards the stool. I looked behind me at Mr. Romeo who just shrugged and pointed at my mic. I looked at my glass that I hadn't refiled since the first song and instead went straight for the half full bottle. I took a huge swig of it before sitting on a stool in the middle of the stage. A familiar break up song started to play, but only one thought played in my mind on repeat. I'm going to kill Luca.
I steadily sat down in my chair as the song played. It was a fairly new break up song but man did it speak to me. I sang each and every note as right as I could. I made sure not to miss any lyrics and to stay on beat with the band. I looked behind me and Mr. Romeo and the rest of the crew were completely lost in the music they were making. As the noise died down so, did my voice and the song came to an end. There was a few claps from the only 2 people in the bar, I took a small curtsey and quickly went to exit the stage. I waved my goodbyes to Mr. Romeo and his group and headed for the stairs, not wanting to be in the way of packing up their equipment. Walking down the stairs proved to be a difficult challenge as that last drink had completely thrown me off balance. I felt my mind turn into mush, and slowly succumbed to the liquid poison. I tried to grab the handle but completely missed. I felt my knees buckle. I was going to fall, but before I could crash down the steps a pair of arms caught me.
"Nice song, you sang it like you wrote it." I looked down to see Wally staring at me with his sly grin and half lidded eyes.
I felt my face flush. I wanted to speak but no words came out. Wally held one of my hands as he helped me down the stairs, he wrapped his other arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer allowing me to lean my weight on him. I muttered a low thank you as he brought me back to my seat at the bar. Luka gave me a thumbs up as he poured me some more water. I pushed it away from me, letting the alcohol control my actions. Wally gently placed his hands over mine as he moved it to grasp the glass.
"Drink some water, and then I'll take you home."
I shook my head, and threw my hands in the air breaking our contact. "Never!" I giggle escaped from my lips as I stretched my arms into the air. I got up from my seat and pushed myself up to sit on the bar table. I crossed my legs and swung them from the edge as I hummed a tune. I felt a finger poke me in the back, I tilted my head back and looked at Luka. I felt my elbows buckle as I leaned backwards. Luka placed a hand on the edge of my back and gave me a gentle push foward. My body didn't resist and went with the motion.
"You're drunk go home."
"Am not. I am perfect."
Wally chuckled at my response and moved in front of me. He placed himself directly in line with my crossed legs, placing his arms by my sides caging me between them. Luka cleared his throat and said something about going into the back. I didn't really focus on it as my attention was drawn into Wally's eyes. They were a beautiful lilac color. I felt as if I would drown in them if I looked for any longer. I moved my hands from my sides and slowly placed them on Wally's cheeks. I squished his face in between my palms.
"Your eyes are so pretty, I feel like I'm being hypnotized."
"Can I hypnotise you to go home?" Wally gave me a small smile and placed his hands on my wrists. He cocked his neck to the side and gave me a concerned look. "How long have been crying for?"
I shrugged my shoulders. I moved my hands down from Wally's face and wrapped my arms around his neck. I pulled myself towards him, and leaned down placing my head in the crook of his neck. I just shook my head instead of responding to the questions. I felt my body losing itself to the warmth of his touch. I heard a chuckle as my eyes began to close.
~(-0-)~
Wally carefully lifted you up from the bar and felt you automatically wrap your legs around his waist, Wally fought back the smirk trying to sneak onto his lips. Luka came out just in time to see you off.
"Ah she became a backpack." Luka came up to Wally and gave your head a soft pat. He refocused his attention to the actor and handed him napkin with pen scribbled on it. He took it and shoved it in his pocket, careful not to move you too much.
"This is her address. It takes 15 minutes to walk there and even less to drive. Text me as soon as you get her home safely. My number is on her phone and she doesn't have a password." Luka's gaze turned serious as he spoke. "If you hurt her, I'll know. I will not hesitate to burn you to the ground. I don't care how cute you are."
Wally felt flattered and threatened at the same time. "Don't worry. She's safe with me."
Luka was correct, it took less that 15 minutes to drive to your place. Pulling up in your driveway, Wally looked at your sleeping face a smirk pulling at his lips. You were snuggled up with his jacket on you curled up against the passenger door. He pulled your phone out from his pocket, you had a cute background picture and no password. Swiping into your phone Wally texted Luka your status while also asking for the location of a spare key. Not a second went by before a response came in. Placing the phone back in his pocket, Wally got out of the car and focused on getting you into your home without waking you.
Setting you down on the couch, Wally fixed his jacket on you, covering your shoulders. You stirred and adjusted to the comfort of the cushions, but did not wake. Wally quietly moved away from you and headed into the kitchen. He grabbed a glass and filled it with water. He sat on the edge of the couch cushion placing the water on your coffee table. He had to admit it, you were an adorable mess. He moved a piece of fallen hair, tucking it behind your ear. His thumb gently caressed your tear stained cheek. You let out a heavy sigh and a smile formed. Wally removed his hand and took out his phone. He took a picture of your sleeping demeanor and set it as your contact picture. He leaned back into your couch with crossed arms and began to close his eyes.
He'd leave in the morning, for now he wanted to stay in the comfort of your company.
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Long Time No See
Hello everyone! I'm finally at the tail end of the rough month I had (and years).
I wanted to get back to streaming today but i think i will take a couple extra days and start on Tuesday. Now I will explain what happened, so if you are not interested in that you can skip the read no problem : )
Mid May I got a really bad case of gastritis that lasted for 3 to 4 days, meaning, I had really bad stomach ache, I honestly dont remember but i probably ate something too spicy. Then after that week on a Sunday at 2 am I got what i thought was an allergic reaction to some ham and salami. I went to the ER when I started feeling itchy all over and my face swollen.
I stood around the ER for about hour and a half and I was not getting treated, so i just decided to go at the drugstore for at least some allergic medicine, i was feeling better on the way home but as soon as i was pulling up I felt bad again, i was really tired, it was almost 6 am so i went to take a nap to rest and let the medicine work. I woke up an hour later with a rash all over my arms and itchy all over my neck and chest. I googled to see if there was a 24/7 doctor nearby and luckily there was one.
After explaining everything I got a shot for the allergic reaction and some pills to take the next 3 days. Omg, it was so bad, at that time i didnt know the shot should of taken care of the reaction, so i thought it was normal and was gonna go away with the pills. The rash was going away little by little the next couple of ways but still very itchy and visiting the bathroom too many times during the day (not the good kind of bathroom visits).
After going to the same clinic but different Doctor, i was diagnosed with Food Intoxication, not food poisoning or allergic reaction, I had a fever that i didnt notice. So they were gonna give me antibiotics pills but i asked to get the injections, because I know antibiotics are really bad for my gut and i was already at my limit with the bathroom visits. Luckily the Doctor said ok and i had to take only 3 injections, 1 each day, and some pills in case i felt more pain or fever. Literally 40 minutes after the first injection i felt great, no pain in my stomach or guts, it got so relaxed that i was able to burp and without feeling nauseous for the first time in a week.
I was finally so relaxed that i was able to sleep a full night. After the 3 days have passed i was feeling so good, better than what i've felt in the last couple of months. I was able to eat without wanting to puke it out as soon as it touched my mouth, and the bathroom only saw me once a day. Funny thing is, my brother came for a surprise visit so, while i was still recovering physically, he helped me to recover mentally, he stayed for a week and by the end of it i was feeling so good and full of energy (even tho I was under the sun sweating my butt off a couple of days).
He left before this past weekend so i've been just recharging my social battery. I was feeling so good i got into the pool a couple times to just relax, pretty much I had a vacation week because my bro was here (totally making me want to go to my hometown again but the heat is worse there for some reason).
So, for now I just need to get my energy back and not let the bad energies to return, I'm trying to focus this week on getting my sleeping schedule back to normal (something i fixed before i got sick), and trying to get in the rhythm of drawing again. I want to get some stuff before I go to visit my bro for a couple of months around mid August or September but I really need to sell some stuff I dont need. Also kinda making plans to move to Japan as soon as possible, the forecast for my country is not good with the election and if the new term people have it their way, Mexico is heading to a really bad place.
I wanted to visit USA before going to Japan to visit friends but obviously I havent been making enough money to save up, so unless i win the lottery that aint happening because my mom doesnt want to go to USA for whatever reason. That means I will start fully focusing on getting on track with projects so I can afford a living.
Sorry for the delay of all my stuff, last year was really bad mentally and physically for me, and sentimentally was devastated for the second year in a row, now I will try to focus on not getting attached to people for a while and just work work work (dont worry, that just means im not going to search for a romantic long term relationship, specially not long distance online)
So, I apologize for my lack of professionalism and I really appreciate your patience, it really means a lot.
https://www.patreon.com/posts/long-time-no-see-105561594
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//who are THESE fresh squids?? (made here)
okay these guys might not get a mention on this blog for a while- if ever- so i'm gonna talk about them now bc i've been rotating them in my mind for a while
these are captain's siblings! the ones they left behind when they were 14 to run away to inkopolis. captain certainly isn't proud of leaving them behind at ALL, in fact the one thing they wish they'd done differently is taking them with them, even if it would've been damn near impossible to take care of 2 younger siblings all on their own away from home when they were already struggling to take care of themself. they have no idea how their siblings fared with their neglectful ass father after they left, but pierce (right) was only a year or 2 younger than them, so they hoped he'd be able to leave soon too- taking harper (left) with him
so yeah harper (left) i think is probably around 16 or 17 now, having been 7 or 8 when captain left. since she was pretty young she didn't really know exactly why they left, and they didn't tell her either, so i'd say she probably resents them for it. she's a hotheaded edgy teen, classic rebel, you know the deal.
and then there's pierce (right), who's around 21 or 22 now, so he would've been 12 or 13 when they left. even if they didn't say a word to him before packing their bags and hopping a train at the asscrack of dawn, he knows exactly why they did. because being a kid and not only growing up, but having to parent your 2 younger siblings in your father's place, is hard. he basically had to take on their role as caretaker of harper when they left, being the second oldest, and that's how he realized. he doesn't resent them exactly, but he does wish they'd at least said goodbye. he's an outwardly chipper guy, and puts on a brave face even at the worst of times.
and they both did eventually get out of that house- pierce didn't leave as soon as he turned 14 like captain did (though cod, he wanted to) but when harper was old enough to be left home alone he got a job and saved up what he could to get himself and his younger sister out of there. and then when harper was 12 and he was 17, he got them both out of there. they might have gone somewhere else first, but i wanna say they probably ended up in splatsville, living in an apartment together with pierce doing what he can to support harper through school, and she does some turfing herself to help with rent and save up her own money so she can get her own place eventually.
i feel like the reason they probably haven't run into captain is that captain lives in inkopolis and only really goes to splatsville to visit rookie, and the last time they saw their siblings, neither of them were fully transformed yet, and they aren't so easy to recognize anymore themself. so if they've happened to pass each other on the street, it'd take more than just a cursory glance to realize just who they're passing. so it could definitely, and likely will, happen eventually. who's to say.
#headcanons#muse lore#jesus chirst this is a fucking novel and a half#but also i wanna say i think the reason captain is so fiercely loyal and 'no squid left behind' with their current found family#is because they'll die before repeating their perceived mistake with their siblings#tbcf to them they were only FOURTEEN YEARS OLD and were NOT equipped to raise 2 younger siblings#so it's fully understandable why they would dip as soon as they could from the situation.#they loved their siblings. they did everything they could. but they reached their breaking point. so they left that house before they broke#they DO feel a lot of guilt over it but they've never tried to go back and find them for multiple reasons- the guilt being one of them#but also when it comes to their father: i likely won't incorporate him into the blog in any way more than a mention or a flashback#he was a single father of 3 and he did an absolute shrimpshit job of it.#should've gotten help with parenting from someone OTHER than his oldest barely teenaged child#though he pushed the parenting role onto them long before they reached their teen years#anyway what the fuck am i talking about#wrote ANOTHER WHOLE ESSAY IN HTE TAGS I'M SORRY#I JUST HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS BACKSTORY I'VE BEEN CRAFTING FOR THIS SQUID BEHIND THE SCENES#but anyway my point with these tags is: it's a very complicated family dynamic#all these squids are fucked up but at least they're out of that house now#i DO want to incorporate them into the blog somehow i'm just not sure when/how yet#ooc
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New Chapter: The Planning
31 July 2024
Growing up, I never liked changed. I hated when things were moved around in my play room, I hated when I changed schools, I hated things I couldn't control. I still hate when I'm not in control, but I'm working on it. Now, I'm actually excited for the changes that are coming in my life.
Soon I will be moving, and then I will be moving again, and I have a lot of feelings about this. The main reason I'm moving, the real big change is that I'm going to Grad School! I've decided to get my masters in creative writing, and I'm excited for that.
The first move will be when my lease is up at my apartment in the hills (not The Hills TM). That move will come around November. I'm excited and scared, but ultimately, I know this is the best move for me.
My current living situation is not sustainable, it hasn't been for a while. Honestly, it hasn't been great for the past couple years, but I was blinded by love and trusted people who were lying to me and playing games with my head. It's corn dipped in cheese but that quote "betrayal doesn't come from your enemies" is so fucking true and I hate it.
I don't want to get into the whole thing right now, that is a story for another time, but I will say, in relation to this move, it's important. I know this will be better for me, it will allow me the freedom to take the next steps and not have extra stress because I'm walking on egg shells and not feeling safe in my own home, and also it will allow me to save money.
I'm planning on moving back in with my parents for a while (the couple months from the time my lease is up until I get into a program and move to that school). I'm going to try and transfer so I can keep working at the job I've had for the last five and half years. I wouldn't be paying rent (my parents are generous and want me to be able to save money, but I'm planning on helping out with groceries and whatever they'll let me pay for). But it will be good. I'm excited.
I'm applying to a bunch of schools (I have a list that I'm narrowing down right now). I'm leaning more towards the east coast, lower populations, small towns, forests and shit. I think I want to be around nature. I've lived in an over populated city/county for the last six years and I'm ready for the underpopulated. I want space to breathe, space to write, space to just be me. I need to slow down. I need the quite.
Also, if I'm under-stimulated my creativity will thrive because I will need to keep myself entertained. Plus, I'm aiming for a 4.0 (or at least graduating with a higher GPA than the 3.66 I graduated with in undergrad). Honestly, anything 3.8 and higher I will be happy with. So, less distractions would be nice.
I think I also just need to be by myself. I haven't been by myself for a very long time and I think we need to get to know each other again, become friends again. I've already started working on getting to know myself again. I've been journaling (by hand and here), and I've been having adventures on my own again. I think the best part about this is that even when I'm alone I don't feel lonely anymore. So, I'm calling that a win.
Okay, enough with the sappy shit, here is the plan:
September trip
Apply for grad school (applications are not open yet 😖)
Pack stuff I won't need for like 2 months (and take it to my parent's house already)
Tell my roommates I'm moving out at the end of our lease (and hope they don't explode on me)
October trip
Transfer request
MOVE
Start next steps for Grad School :)
This seems... doable.
I feel a little out of control, mainly because I'm just doing a lot of waiting. Waiting for the applications to open, waiting to hear back, waiting for my lease to be up, waiting to hear about my transfer. And yes, there are things I'm doing while I'm waiting. I'm preparing my portfolio and getting editing my submissions, I'm packing and planning, I'm going on trips and spending time with friends, but I'm still just waiting. I can't move past the next step because it's not time yet.
This is really turning out to be a training in patience. I'm not an impatient person, at least not an obnoxious impatient person. I'm fine to wait in line, I'm fine to sit in a car and drive for a long time to the fun destination, I'm fine to wait for a trip or something, but I like to be moving forward. I hate being stagnant , especially when I've decided on something.
Alas, I must wait, might as well plan and maybe try to distract myself from spiraling with creativity.
Wish me luck, Ladybug
#moving#going back to school#grad school#new chapter#life#journaling#my journal#ladybug journal#digital diary#journal entry#journal entry 3#growth#healing journey#self reflection#patience#waiting#ladybug#change#july 2024
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bro I’m so sorry about the layoffs, I work in tech too and was laid off in 2020 at the start of lockdown and that shit sucked and really affected me emotionally. I’m just an internet stranger so this is completely unsolicited advice but even though you may tell yourself it’s just a job or other people may tell you that, the way work is set up in the US has pretty intense psychological effects on our sense of belonging and sense of purpose, so please take it easy and don’t feel bad if you get emotional about this and soon you’ll have a foster cat to hang out with!!!! (also I saw your tags about taking PTO, NEVER FEEL WEIRD ABOUT TAKING PTO, if a company can drop you like this then u should take the time you need when you need it)
ahhh thank you so much for sending this in!!! not unsolicited advice at all, I very much appreciate this 🥹 yeah I was kind of numb to it this morning but now that I've really digested it... yeah shit sucks 🤣 I'd be lying if I said I was surprised though, what I am surprised about is that they axed everybody 😩
ironically I am actually one of the employees who has been here the longest (just hit a little over 4 years actually which means I get an extra severance bonus lmao) but it didn't hit me until after we all gathered after the announcement and some of my coworkers (some who have been here since the startup was founded in 2012) started breaking down. we've also been working on this one project since 2019 and it was ready to have its PMA submitted by the end of the year and to see that literally get disintegrated right before our eyes... that shit hurts man.
our work would have saved lives (tldr we work in cancer diagnostics) and now it maybe never can because somebody decided it wasn't making enough money. the absolute irony considering the state of capitalism and US healthcare am I right
I'm honestly also just super bitter towards the company that acquired and then subsequently dissolved us lmao. shits gone downhill ever since they acquired us what, 2 years ago now? we haven't even fully been integrated STILL and they've dragged their feet so much with helping us in any way, if anything they've actually hindered a lot of our work (our entire devops team has a personal vendetta against their IT department) and they're like yeah you guys are underperforming so we're dissolving the entire startup 🙄 I should have jumped ship immediately after the acquisition because everything related to said big company has sucked since then but well here we are
oh also yeah hard agree on the PTO but on the bright side at least mine is getting paid out 🤣
anyways. I'm about to love the shit out of this foster cat
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Do people even like to read my thoughts on future dogs?
I got to hold shelties for breeders at the show this last weekend and the breeder I met the other month was there to introduce me to a few people. She got busy helping with dogs after awhile, so that didn't last super long, but at least it's a start. I also was able to tell people I'd been to the fb video call meeting for the sheltie club this week and some people remembered because I have the profile picture that is Not A Sheltie.
So I'm slowly getting out there. I have one more meeting before I can submit my application, then they do a home check (to make sure I'm not a hoarder, lol). They're starting to offer agility trials again, so I'm going to try to at least volunteer, if not get Mud fit enough to run. (Depending on his health.)
Anyway, yesterday had me pining for another sheltie. The more I connect and research, it seems like the area has a surplus of shelties. I shouldn't have a problem getting a puppy after getting on a list or getting a young adult that didn't work out for show. I've gotten the impression it could take years to build relationships and get a dog. Not so sure about that now.
That said, I'm hoping to get to know dogs and breeders better, so I can get paired with the right dog. I saw dogs with personalities I liked this weekend and others that looked worried just walking into the building. I need to get to more shows just to watch.
All this to say that I'm considering releasing my hold on the rescue mini aussie mix and just waiting for a sheltie. My current situation will put me back up to 3 dogs again if I get another dog, when I only wanted 2, so I had the option to get a 3rd down the line. The gap between next dog and next next dog will need to be bigger than I was thinking it might be earlier this year because I can't do 4 dogs. I had been thinking I'd get the rescue "now", and in fewer years than I tend to wait (basically less than 7 yrs), get another dog, likely a sheltie, though possibly a whippet. That order would depend on how agility apt the rescue was. (If rescue was good/stayed sound lmfao, would consider a whippet after that dog since agility feels like less of a sure shot than a sheltie.)
Now that I can only get one more dog until Mud and/or Anza passes away, I think I need to be more picky. :( Mud's mom is pushing 14, so barring any serious health issues, Mud has potential to reach 14. That means I could be waiting 7 years again, if I get another dog next year. And ngl, I have considered blowing it all off until Mud and Anza are decrepit because they're like...a single unit. They are simultaneously easy (they get along well) and difficult because their brain function drops by half when they are together. It's ridiculous.
I'm not going to make a decision quite yet. It sounds like the training videos the rescue is being feature in might be coming out soon, so I'd like to see those before I decline. She may be flipping amazing and I decide to blow off the sheltie.
Another factor is money. I need to replenish my savings that have been depleted over 18 months of being unemployed with minimal art income. I feel like I'd be better off taking a year or so to do that vs taking on a dog at the beginning of the year. (Rescue offered to hold dog as long as needed, which includes years, but I don't want to do that.)
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Venting /// sorry gkdkksksk
I told my sunt that on week's where I'm working 39 hours a week, that I don't want to do dishes. I only have to do them 2 nights in a week, which isn't a lot but considering I'm exhausted and working so I can get my own place and get out of everyone's hair I don't think it's too much to not want to do dishes.
But after taking a 3 hour nap I got a lecture about how the teenagers are out of the house for 12 hours a day for school and extra curriculars (also mentioning they like and enjoy their extra curriculars. They've chosen this) and they still get their chores and stuff done. Which... Is a fair point. But they're not disabled. Neither of them are disabled. They're both fully functioning and have been doing this for years. Again, they're not fucking DISABLED. And ARE CHOOSING THINGS THEY ENJOY.
I'm disabled and this is the first time I've managed anything other than part time in VERY short increments in about 10 years. My fucking disability no one believes in is disabling and I'm not spending an hour on dishes while I've been on my feet all day.
Also wanna point out this is conveniently ignoring her son that's in his mid 20s and has never worked a job in his fucking life, who went to bed 30 minutes after I got up this morning.
I'm not spending 12 hours a day doing shit for other people. Make the NEET do it. I'm not even spending an extra hour after a full shift doing it, make the fucking NEET do it.
"what exchange are you going to give?"
Idfk me being rested enough to not be a raging cunt? Me moving into my own place as soon as I'm able? Dude I'm in PAIN. And you bitch when I take ibuprofen like it's a hard drug. I'm too tired to even remember the non over the counter pain meds. But that's sure what my family acts like ibuprofen is. Well, if I'd been able to go to a fucking urgent care for my wrist they probably would have told me to take fucking ibuprofen. Jfjskskdkdkks
Don't complain about me acting drugged, I just flipped my sleep schedule on its head and I haven't slept through the night without a sleep aid for as long as I can remember, and I don't like taking sleep aids because they make me drowsy. Lower your fucking expectations. Of course I'm fucking tired.
I'm allowed to read or draw for a bit if I have the energy, not spend an hour on dishes. I will, not be doing that. Especially after standing and moving boxes and stocking shelves and otherwise moving around for over 8 hours.
If I'm not able to do something to keep my head on straight soon I will simply kill myself and let that be your problem. I was going to do that a few months ago anyway, I am not attached to survival. If you make it unpleasant I will simply peace out. I'm done. I've been done. "Well that's life." Cool!!! I don't fucking want it. I don't care. "Cook all your meals! It saves money! All your doing is paying for other people's labor! Everyone still does their chores! Dogs are loud, so are kids!" I DO NOT CARE. I can buy ready made meals to save time! I value my time more than cheap food! I value my time more than organic food. I was able to do all my own chores before, it's called a fucking dishwasher and not having to hand wash everything before putting the dishes in. Your dog barks a lot because you treat her like a human toddler when she's a dog. You haven't trained her NOT to bark. In fact you've trained her to bark in order to get whatever she fucking wants. So SHE BARKS ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Every human child I've been around since becoming an adult is quieter than your fucking dog. "Dogs bark" yeah, no shit. I'm pretty sure I've had more dogs than you. I at least know how to train them better, but I'll never own one again.
Like lower the fucking bar for fucks sake.
#i know im being bitchy#but i think im being held to too high of a standard#is she comparkng me to her oldest daughter?#bevause she's pretty much super human#so thats too high of a bar#whatever#im not doing dishes#im too tired already and know where my limits are#im not crossing them for other people anymore#personal#yes dishes are a stupid hill to die on#i dont fucking care
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[10.39] babysitter!beomgyu × reader
⇀ moving isn't easy for everyone, take your little brother for example. but thank god for the cute next door babysitter in the playground.
⇁ part of @songmingisthighs's children's day collab <3
The last thing you'd want to do was deal with a crying child on moving day. The day itself was stressful enough, but your little brother decided that it was the perfect time to break down every hour since 8 am. It was well over 2 pm at that point.
Your dad had just gotten relocated by his firm so your family had no choice but to move with him to Seoul. The apartment complex was nice to say the least, it has a pool, a basketball court, and a playground with lots of kids around. So using that to your advantage, you convinced your mom that you need to bring Sungmin out before he has another breakdown.
Which was how you found yourself on the side of the playground. Sungmin still has a frown on his lips, tears still streaming down his face and he's sniffling loudly. "Noona," he called to you as you sat down on the bench. The 5-year-old waddled to between your legs and raised his arms up for you to take. Despite sighing at him, you couldn't help but obliged. You lifted him up and put him on your lap. He had his face buried on your shoulder and arms wound tightly around your neck.
"Sungmin, you have to try to join these kids. They're gonna be your friends!" you persuaded him, trying to appeal to his social side. Sungmin is a very open and loud kid. When he wants to. The move had just taken its toll on him and he isn't as excited as could've been because he wasn't given the proper time to process that he had to leave his friends behind.
You looked around the area to see if you can see other kids that could potentially be his new friend. That was when you noticed loud screams that were followed by children giggling from the other side of the playground. Soon, a young man with a white tshirt and sweat pants emerged, slightly jogging as 7 kids followed behind him.
The sound seemed to peaked Sungmin's interest as he lifted his face from your now wet shoulder. Realizing this, you nudged the boy slightly, "Doesn't that seem fun? You wanna join?" You asked him. Despite wanting too, Sungmin pursed his lips and shrugged, a clear indication that he actually wanted to but was too shy to ask for it.
You were about to concoct a plan to talk to the guy you saw when you realized someone had stood in front of you and your brother. When you looked up, you realized that it was the running guy. As your eyes analyzed him, you realized that he was very cute. His eyes sparkled and his smile looked kind. Definitely a highly likable person with just how nice he looked.
"Hi! I've never seen you two around here!" He greeted with a big grin on his face.
Even his voice sounds friendly.
You smiled at him and nodded, "Yeah, we literally just moved into building B," you told him. His eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Oh my god, you're the new tenants in B805, right?" he said. This time you were the one surprised.
Seeing your expression, he chuckled and lifted both of his hands up, "I'm not a creep, I swear, I live in B807. We literally share a hallway and our apartments are adjacent to each other's. Your dad wasn't exactly quiet this morning," he explained. You laughed at that, "Oh yeah, he was probably scolding the movers, fussing over their carelessness over his gundams or something," you rolled your eyes at him before continuing, "I saw that you were playing with the other kids there. Are they your relatives?" you asked, peering over him towards the 7 kids nearby, playing among themselves.
Beomgyu peered behind to see the kids before looking back to you whilst shaking his head, "Nope, those are the kids I babysit sometimes. I'm a part time babysitter if that's not obvious, trying to save some money whilst attending Nursing School," he grinned proudly.
Despite wanting to inquire more, you realized that your main goal was to cheer Sungmin up a bit. You repositioned the boy so Beomgyu could see him better, "Do you think Sungmin here can join? I think he can use some friends from this area," you asked him. Beomgyu nodded eagerly before he crouch down to be eye-level with your brother. He tilted his head and reached his right arm forward, "Hi there, Sungmin was it? I'm Beomgyu," he introduced himself. With his sniffle dying down, Sungmin cautiously reached his own right hand forward and shook Beomgyu's hand before promptly letting it go.
Though it was seemingly miniscule, Beomgyu beamed happily at the reciprocation. "Do you like the playground here? I personally love it because there's like four different slides there and you can go absolutely nuts on them," he said. Sungmin's eyes blinked as he stared up at Beomgyu with great interest. He looked between you and Beomgyu back and forth, as if asking you for permission. You only grinned and helped him down.
Soon, he dashed off with Beomgyu, a slight spring on his steps. He seemed to have forgotten his sadness and within 10 minutes, you saw him giggling and not long after, you saw him completely cracking up with one of the kids.
As you kept a close eye on your brother, watching what he did and where he went, you felt a pair of eyes watching you. From your peripheral vision, you saw Beomgyu looking at you every so often as he played with them. He may or may not spend a little extra attention and care to your brother so he could be in your line of sight.
30 minutes in, Sungmin trodded to you asking for a drink from your water bottle. As he gulped the cold water, you helped pat his forehead to blot the sweat off. "Did you have fun, Minnie?" you asked, trying to suppress a grin as he nodded enthusiastically. His cheeks red from the activity, heat, and being happy, but he still answered you, "Yes! I even made a friend, Kijoon, he said he has a lot of robots!" he said enthusiastically.
You couldn't help but chuckle at him, "I'm glad you like the kids here," you said. "Well, I like Beomgyu hyung too! And I think he likes you!" he said out of the blue. Your eyes widened as you felt your cheeks reddened at the revelation. Though, you couldn't help but become intrigued. "R-really? What makes you say that," you asked him. Sungmin put the water bottle back in your hand and scratched his head, "He kept asking about you and kept saying that you're nice and pretty," he shrugged. Suddenly, he leaned forward which made you lean closer to him, "I can help you date him if you want, I don't mind," he said in a hushed tone before running off back to his new friends,
At this point, you think your face had bursted out in flames. But you couldn't help yourself from trailing your eyes over to Beomgyu. To your surprise, he was already looking at you and when your eyes met, he threw you a bright smile. You could've sworn that a slight blush was painted over his cheeks that you assumed could be because of the sun but a part of you wished that the cute guy was blushing because of you. So you smiled back and waved at him slightly.
Internally, you thanked Sungming for having a breakdown over the move. Because if he hadn't you would have probably meet Beomgyu at a later time or not at all. This way, you both had made contact and it's only a matter of time before you start spending time with the babysitter from across your apartment.
Most likely without kids around.
#txt#txt scenario#txt scenarios#txt imagine#txt imagines#txt timestamp#txt timestamps#txt fanfic#txt blog#txt fluff#kpop#kpop scenario#kpop scenarios#kpop imagine#kpop imagines#kpop timestamp#kpop timestamps#kpop fanfic#kpop fluff#soobin#yeonjun#beomgyu#taehyun#kai#huening kai#hueningkai#txt kai#beomgyu fluff#beomgyu scenario#beomgyu imagine
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Help A Trans & Disabled Couple Survive
Hi, I'm Hal, and I'm gonna do my best to keep this as succinct as possible, but I'm pretty sure it's gonna be super long so bear with me
The long and short of it is that my fiancée and I don't have enough income. We haven't been able to reach paycheck-to-paycheck levels of security since 2020, when our roommate moved out and we found out she had been pocketing the money for one of our bills for over a year. From then on we had issues with different roommates moving in and out, along with them and "friends" taking advantage of our kindness when we helped them out of dire situations. My fiancée's low paying job with crap benefits just doesn't come close to cutting it, but getting a "better" one is just about impossible these days. Details under the cut:
I've just been approved for Disability/SSDI benefits, but SSI benefits are looking unlikely. Getting Disability benefits means you have surveillance and restrictions on your WAGES, meaning I can't work. SSI qualifications involve your total income, which I qualify for on my own. Unfortunately, the SSA determined that my fiancee and I count as a married couple due to 1. living arrangement 2. length of relationship and 3. the expectation of engagement leading to marriage, so BOTH of our incomes are scrutinized.
We have no savings, a dingy old truck, and have been prioritizing medication and essential groceries over paying bills in full. My mom is in worse shape than us, so I can't receive help from her, my dad is my abuser and "helps" when it benefits him, my Nana passed last June, and my fiancée's family... aren't keen on helping us become financially stable, but help from time to time.
The worst part of all this has been the unending grief of losing family. My Nana, my bestie, passed away in summer 2021, my closest Uncle passed in the fall, my Great Aunt (my late PawPaw's sister) passed away last week, my dad (although he's my abuser, I empathize with his pain) is... winding down and will probably go to an assisted living facility soon, my geriatric kitty Tom was diagnosed with a rare, aggressive, and incurable case of cancer last July, and my mom's long-term boyfriend is... in bad shape, to say the least. Along with the loss from hardly being able to leave home due to the pandemic, the loss of family and friends feels unending.
With my and my fiancée's 10 year anniversary coming up on March 9th, I just want a little relief. I don't want to cry from stress for ONE DAY. I know social media won't set us straight, but we are so desperate that ANY amount helps. Here are the most pressing expenses and their details:
1. Electric bill debt as of January 31st - $860 - at the end of February/beginning of March we are going to sign up for a 6 month installment plan, where we pay that month's bill in addition to a portion of our debt. We have to pay the first amount in full by March 9th according to the company; I will edit with that exact amount asap.
2. Water bill debt as of January 31st - $501 - we're going to do a very similar plan with the water bill as the electric bill.
3. Medication costs - $175 a month - I use Sam's Club's Plus Membership due to not having prescription coverage. This membership is $100 a year, which was due for us in mid-January. Sam's Club DOES NOT take GoodRx coupons. I don't know what the cost of my prescriptions will be without the membership coverage, so I will edit this when I have a better estimate. This cost does not include unexpected prescriptions
Additionally, I'm going to be out of everything within the next week. I'll run out of one on Wednesday, another Thursday, and a third on Monday 2/14. The other 2 I'm getting from my mom as leftover prescriptions she's not taking anymore.
4. Tom's medical expenses - Now this is a whole new can of worms. The most pressing costs RIGHT NOW are 1. $55 for a scratchpay loan payment by the end of February 2. $50-100 estimated for his primary vet appointment tomorrow. This includes the cost of the physical and the two prescriptions he'll need - one for the skin on his tumor and another for pain management. 3. $90 for his unscheduled oncology vet physical to see if he is a good candidate for low-dose/palliative radiation therapy. More info (and pics of the cutie!) at our gofundme here: https://gofund.me/f73245bc
The donations to this campaign will ONLY be used for Tom's care - if it is determined he can't receive radiation therapy for whatever reason, the donations will be used for vet appointments, pain management, mobility assistance like stairs and ramps, his prescription diet food, and his eventual euthanasia. Based on several vets' opinions, he only has a about year left in him. I just want him to live a good life as long as possible.
If you'd like information on our location to see if you can dig up resources, please DM me off anon. Here's how to donate; and if you can't donate (I 100% understand, shit is tight for everyone right now) PLEASE share:
PayPal: paypal.me/becbecbec or DM me for my email address
Cash App: $HalHoney
Venmo: @/Hal-Honeycutt (remove the / )
#please help#donate#fundraiser#gofundme#emergency#assistance#aid#financial aid#help needed#poverty#poor#transgender#lgbtq#mutual aid#disabled#emotional support animal#pet care#cat care#geriatric cat
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Chains of a family [B.W]
Bill Weasley x Grant! Reader
Chapter 1, Chapter 2
Summary: Molly knows about the reader’s relatives and she’s not so sure to put her trust in a girl that had just betrayed her own family
Word count: 1.9K
Warnings: Swearing
A/N: Hi! i’m so happy that you guys liked this thing! thank you so much for your support and, again, if you want to keep reading this let me know. Same note as ever, english not my mother language, so tell me if something’s is wrong.
Chapter 2: Not your family
The next morning turned out to be quieter than you imagined.
You slowly got out of bed and looked at everything around you noticing how quaint Bill's old room was. The ceiling was lined with grainy wallpaper with stacks of photographs of Quidditch players hanging from the reeds that moved from side to side, simulating the playing field; the right side of the room had a huge hole behind the small stool that tried to hide it, and from that hole a small garden gnome was sleeping peacefully with a small piece of cloth on top of his head. You stood up, walking towards the huge window that gave you a beautiful view of the Weasley's garden that at that moment was covered by a thin layer of drizzle that had fallen during the night.
Molly's fruit trees gleamed under the faint rays of the sun and you saw how a doxy from between the leaves poisoned Mrs. Weasley's apples, causing them to fall from the tree branches in a thick black mass with a foul smell coming out of it. You shook your head, excited to witness a very different way to wake up.
Even though several minutes have passed since you woke up, the house continued to remain in a strange silence that made you think that the family had decided to leave the burrow with the intention of buying more supplies or something like that. You knew that Bill wasn’t at home precisely for his obligations within the Order, so you didn’t worry about looking for him around the room, so you decided that a better option was going down to the dining room and know what was happening.
As you went down the spiral staircase, you cursed in a whisper when you forgot to put on your slippers before leaving the bedroom cause the floor was so cold that you slipped a couple of times. Back in the days, when you were still welcome in your parents' house, you had many servants who did all the things for you - putting on your shoes as soon as you woke up was one of those things - but now that your life had changed so much, you assumed that you would have to adapt and start taking care of your own needs.
Your curious eyes roamed the walls covered in family photos that caused a big warmth in your chest. In each of those photographs, all of Molly's children appeared along with their father, smiling for the camera and sending effusive greetings. A pic was hanging at the fireplace were Molly and Arthur were carrying a small white bundle crying his lungs out. You assumed it was Bill as his parents seemed too young back then and even as a small baby, you could recognize those tantrum features anywhere.
A giggle escaped your lips when you noticed a funny sequence from that same photo in which, even with Bill crying in his mother's arms, his father tried to carry him for a moment to calm him down, however the baby's cries didn’t stop. The baby was so annoyed that he ended throwing up the milk ration that he must have had before the photo session on his father's neat shirt.
You laughed because you knew that William's impertinence was something he had carried with him for several years now.
"Bill hates those photos." You jumped in your place scared to see Molly standing behind you. Your cheeks turned red “He says that it’s embarassing but i think that’s nonsense. He was an adorable baby”
"he was," you answered, looking anywhere but into Molly's shrewd eyes. "but I guess displaying them in the fireplace isn’t the right thing to do."
“Is it not?
"No, they should be at the front door where everyone can see them”
Molly giggled as you watched the sequence of photos over and over again. A silence settled between you, but surprisingly it was not an awkward silence, but one that was allowing you to create a bond that neither of you expected. Mrs. Weaslsey brought up a rag, wiping it around the corners of the photo from the dust.
"Arthur and I had to save up for months to take those pictures," she mentioned wistfully, "we just had Bill and it seemed like a good idea to welcome him into our family with a gesture like that. Arthur was new in the ministry and wasn't earning too much, but we had that quirk and decided we could afford to skip certain things to pay for the pictures. It cost us ten galleons and it still took us four months to gather them”
“Oh” You didn't know what to say, but you just kept looking at the photograph feeling a bit uncomfortable. You never had those problems at home because your family was insanelly rich thanks to the inheritance in life that your grandfather Tim had left to his son and later to his grandchildren. Even the descendants of your grandfather's servants came to work in your house, reason enough for you and your siblings to grow up with no sense of responsibility other than your own wishes. Molly sighed remembering those times when life seemed to be easier.
"So when Bill asked me to remove it from the fireplace, I refused. He doesn't know how hard it was to raise that money, but I think he has nothing to be ashamed of, he was too adorable!
"I don't doubt it for a second, Mrs. Weasley."
"You can call me Molly," she said, walking back to the kitchen where you continued watching the way the pans moved back and forth preparing breakfast. You were not very good at cooking - in fact, you had never cooked before- however, that didn’t stop you from offering your help. So you took a pan, placed it on the stove, and decided that you would find a way to make a good mountain of strawberry-filled pancakes just like your dear nanny did. Molly observed you carefully. "I think that now that you are living with us it is appropriate to have a more cordial treatment.My son told me a lot about you”
“Just the good things, i hope”
“Kind of” You stopped mixing ingredients to look at her carefully” He told us a bunch of marvelous things about you and how you two met. Actually, what worries me the most is what he didn’t tell us”
And there was the recrimination you were waiting for. You were aware that it had to arrive sooner or later, however, you would have been grateful that it did it when Bill were by your side to give you the opportunity to defend yourself properly. You cleared your throat uncomfortably, knowing that what Molly needed to hear from your own lips was which family you came from. You continued your task with the pancakes, turning out as bad as you expected.
"I'm sorry it turned out this way, Mrs. Weasley."
"Molly," he corrected.
"Molly" you smiled slowly "But believe me when I tell you that it was me who asked William not to mention anything about my last name or where I come from. I know that in this case, with the war above our heads, it is necessary to be certain of the people who enter your family and I apologize for that, it's just ... Bill is very important to me” Molly's eyes narrowed “Since we met ... I have found a home in him and well, all that feels when someone is in love. "Mrs. Weasley shook her head, understanding the feeling." I have experienced the rejection before. When people know that Tom Riddle is my family ... they run away in fear, curse my family and even walk away from us, as if sharing a blood bond makes us as evil as he is.
“And it’s not like that?” Molly asked with a hand on her neck. She didn’t want to be like the others and judge you without knowing the full story, just as she had promised Bill the night before that she would, but it was so difficult not to remember the death of his brothers by Voldemort’s hands and to pretend nothing had happened in the past. You sighed because the eggs you cracked on the bowl got mixed with their own shell “ I've heard of the Grants before, they're all Death Eaters, including your siblings!”
“It is difficult to have to choose a side when you don’t have your own convictions”
"And you have it?"
You looked at Molly in pain. Of course you expected those reactions from Bill's mother, she was within her right to be upset that her oldest son never told her that he was in a relationship with a girl who seemed to have the most fucking powerful and evil wizard in the world as a great-uncle. No, Molly wasn't mad, she was deadly angry, she felt like she was bursting!
Her hands became fists and without knowing how, you found yourself between the wall and Molly's big arms from one second to the other. The pancake batter was forgotten, as was the woman's promise to treat her son's girlfriend in a good way.
"How is it possible ..." Molly questioned in an agitated voice, pressing your arms against the wall, "... that a single deer leaves the nature of its own herd?" How can you ensure that one rotten apple even in a gold container doesn’t rot the others?”Your breath caught at the questions of the woman in front of you. Once again, you were aware that your presence wouldn’t be good news to them, but at least you hoped they understood your motives before judging you “Explain to me, (Y/ N) Grant, when have you seen a pig away from his equals?”
Your words caught in your throat at Molly's fierce question. Bill had talked a lot about the temper of his mother. Even if she could be really grumpy at times, she was in general a very sweet, pleasant and maternal woman with everyone; however, you didn’t fit into that generality because it seemed that the woman was determined to kill you with her own hands.
"If my presence bothers you so much, then you shouldn't have let Bill and I to stay here."
“He's my son! All I want for him is to be happy, and that's why I don't understand what he managed to see in you”
"Maybe the same thing you saw in your husband." Molly's lips twitched in anger, but you didn't stop. You hoped that she would at least understand what your words meant, because that would make it easier for both of you to try at least get along better, even if Molly seemed not to want to do it under any circumstances. How is it that this haughty little girl dared to compare herself with her dear and wonderful husband? "I'm sorry, but I don't think this conversation is going to take us anywhere."
"If someone betrays his own family ..." Molly stopped you before you walked out the front door. The others got down the stairs, seeing the scandal formed in the kitchen “The rest of us can't expect too much, can we?
Your eyes blured.
#bill weasley#bill weasley imagines#bill weasley x reader#harry potter imagine#domhnall gleeson imagine#domhnall gleeson#harry potter#fred weasley imagines#weasley
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still [sawamura daichi]
1,6k words
previous | masterlist | next ➪
part eight of i’m gone i’m gone i’m gone miniseries. you can only put these things off for so long.
JST: japanese standard time (GMT +9). EST: eastern standard time (GMT -5). EDT: eastern daylight time (GMT -4).
tings // fluff, a little bit of angst, kinda suggestive at the end ?? // i swear this søng is abøut eating øut my best friend's pussy - cøzybøy // dm, ask or comment to be added to taglist ! minors dni.
☾𓆙𓂻
— JAPAN, SUMMER 2024.
the summer passes like this: you and daichi laughing too loudly in busy restaurants and train cars; having arms around each other in the back of taxis on the way home from clubs; making instant udon at three a.m.; walking up and down the neighborhood a hundred times; laying silently side by side and not needing to say anything. it's a routine, it's familiar—it's home.
a couple weeks before you're set to head back to new york, daichi asks you a question as you lay next to him on a blanket in your driveway, staring up at the stars.
"have you decided what your plans are after college?"
"i'm gonna come back here."
"i thought you wanted to go to grad school? you can do way better in the states, especially with a degree from columbia."
you roll onto your side so you can look at him better. "i know. but i've been away too long already. i miss you."
he gives you a little smile. "but i'm right here."
"right here is pretty fucking far from america."
"hm."
"hm."
that's the end of the conversation.
— 2 AUGUST 2024. 23:09 JST.
everything happens the exact same way it has for the past three years: he takes you to the airport. you try hard not to cry; you say your goodbyes. check-in, security, buy some candy to eat at the gate. board the plane. sixteen hours later, you're in america.
one thing was different, though.
when he said goodbye, his lips touched yours.
you don't stop thinking about it for weeks.
☾𓆙𓂻
— AUGUST TO NOVEMBER 2024.
slightly relieving is the fact that amid thesis writing and too many classes and working an internship under one of your professors (that one's nice, it even earns you enough to get a small apartment a few blocks from campus), there proves to be little time to be spent missing daichi.
you finesse your schedule to fit weekly facetimes on friday evenings (new york time) and shoot random texts back and forth about your day between classes and during meals, and without much space for anything else, it's enough. good things are worth waiting for, anyway.
— DECEMBER 2024.
but then winter sem break rolls around and there's no school so it's back to having too much lonely alone time with your thoughts. you write daichi a christmas card and drop it off at the post office. it's early this year, but oh, well.
☾𓆙𓂻
a week before christmas you receive a call from an unknown number. the phone speaker crackles when you accept the call.
“hello?”
“hey.” the voice on the other end is bright, smiley, accented. it’s tōru.
“tōru? what’s up?”
“i’m outside,” he says, “come down and meet me?”
you’re a little confused, but you decide to humor him. “uh, okay, give me a minute… do i need anything?”
“bring a coat, it’s cold out. i’ll be waiting down here.” the call ends.
a few minutes later you push through the doors of the building to be met with a brisk wind and tōru standing by a payphone, grinning.
“do you have your subway pass?”
you feel inside your pocket for it and nod.
“good,” he says. “come on, we’re in a hurry.”
“where are we going?”
“downtown.”
“ohhkay?”
he laughs. “‘s not anything you won’t like, promise.”
you follow him into the nearest subway entrance, lost in thought as you push through the barrier and step onto the train. it's only when he nudges you and says, "this is our stop," that you realize you've been looking at the ground the whole time.
tōru notices how absent you seem to be and asks, "are you okay?"
"i would be if i knew what was going on," you respond.
"yeah," he says, leading you up the stairs and into the terminal, "yeah, i think you will be."
you're in grand central. tōru asks if he can borrow your phone for a second. when he hands it back to you, he doesn't say anything, just takes you by the arm smiling widely and leads you into the fray of commuters that fill the station.
"tōru!" you groan, "can't you just tell me where we're going?"
"magnolia," he replies simply.
"we came all the way here just for coffee?"
"mhm."
"tōru!" he stops walking and turns back to you, trying and failing miserably to stop grinning for a second. "what the fuck?"
"come on," he says, "you'll like it."
"we've been here before! what's so special about—"
"you'll see."
☾𓆙𓂻
coffee in grand central is surprisingly good. it's also surprisingly expensive. ah, well, it's new york. new york has much more to offer than just overpriced cafés.
such as... this. such as a laughing man that leads a remarkably pissed-off looking girl by the arm, towards this stupidly good, stupidly overpriced café.
the pair are weaving through a stream of people, almost there, and then they're there, and the girl is looking much less agitated now. she looks somewhere between crying and wanting to run in the opposite direction. thank god, she chooses the former.
he loves you. so much.
☾𓆙𓂻
"daichi?" you mean it to be a scream but your voice cracks a little and it comes out airy.
he has the exact same look on his face that tōru's had this whole time. "hi."
"oh my god, what the fuck?"
"you said it was lonely, tōru told me maybe it would be nice for you to have a date for new year's, i had some extra money saved up. so i came."
"you— what?" you look back at tōru. "you planned this? just? last minute?"
"nah," daichi laughs, "no, i meant to come visit you for christmas a while ago. i already had tickets and everything, i was gonna tell you but then i got your card and figured it might be more fun if it were a surprise."
"oh my god." that's all you can think to say.
— CHRISTMAS 2024.
you can't even explain how good it feels to wake up and walk into the living room to find daichi asleep on your couch on christmas morning, how good it feels for it to not just be you. the whole time he's been here, though, you've forced yourself not to think about the fact that he's going back home in a week and a half, forced yourself not to do anything just yet. soon, though. just a few more months.
☾𓆙𓂻
when he wakes up, you're making coffee for the two of you.
"merry christmas," he says, wrapping one arm around your shoulders. he places a card on the counter in front of you. "open it."
its message is simple.
you do as it says.
"i, uh, haven't gotten you anything yet, but—"
"daichi," you laugh, "it's okay. and um, i may have also not been able to get you anything. also because i didn't know you'd be here."
"wait, wait, i'm not finished."
"okay?"
"what do you want to do after you're done this year of school?"
"i already told you," you say, "i'll move back home."
"no, what do you want to do? you want to go to grad school, right? continue studying here?"
"no, i just want to stop waiting." you sigh, a little frustrated. "i don't wanna have to keep putting this off, it's been—"
he cuts you off. "i'll be here."
"huh?"
"i'll be here. or wherever."
"i don't get it?"
you've always loved the way daichi's nose scrunches up when he smiles. "you're the one planning on studying more, not me. not immediately, anyway. i'll go with you."
"daichi."
"what?"
"you're fucking joking."
he laughs; you look so confused right now. "i'm not. promise."
"i don't even—"
"hey."
"hm?"
"think you can handle long-distance for five months?"
"uh—" you inhale sharply. "yeah."
"good," he says, "then we don't have to keep putting this off."
it's been five months since you last let your lips touch his. it still feels just like the first time it happened.
— 31 DECEMBER, 2023. 19:36 EST.
he tries not to let you pay for dinner, but in the end, you slip the waiter your card while daichi's in the bathroom. it's his birthday; it's your treat.
and after dinner, there's that new year's eve party that tōru's been going on about. it feels good, so good, not to be there alone. it feels good to watch the broadcast from downtown and count the seconds to midnight as daichi's arms are wrapped around you from behind. the clock reaches zero; daichi kisses you hard. you're both drunk on champagne.
you watch him smile across the room at tōru, who's got his girl on his arm. the two of them look happy, too. everything is warm.
— DEPARTURE: 3 JANUARY 2025. 08:15 EST.
daichi's asleep next to you when the alarm on his phone goes off. you'll miss not waking up next to him for the next five months, but at least that's all it will be.
he makes faces at you in the mirror as you both brush your teeth; keeps trying to tug your sweater off when you get dressed. you spend these thirty minutes laughing with him until it hurts. the two of you take the subway back to grand central; make out in a corner of the terminal while he waits for his train to jfk international to arrive.
"see you in may."
— 21 JANUARY 2025.
taglist: @sakruisin-thru @softetsurou @oligbia
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu angst#haikyuu fluff#daichi sawamura#sawamura daichi#daichi fluff#daichi angst#daichi series#daichi smut#kinda#haikyuu series#literally not even like in a romantic way bc thats not how this story goes#but#tōru is best boy#pls he's literally??? so sweet#imagine if boys like this were real#anyway#THIS IS ALMOST DONE ITS THE SECOND TO LAST PART#TECHNICALLY THE LAST BC THE NEXT ONE IS THE EPILOGUE#OMG#ALSO OOPS THIS IS LATE BUT UM IT'S LIKE TWICE AS LONG AS MOST OF THE OTHER PARTS#SO UH YEA
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I don’t want this to come across as, like, pity because it’s not and I’m sure you don’t want that, I mean this in the normalest, friendliest, least parasocial way possible because having followed you for years and spoke to you a few times it sucks that you are in this situation and have had to repeatedly go through it: can we help you somehow? Ko fi donations, Amazon wishlist, therapy fund etc? Is there anything we could do to make things a little more bearable?
For one I just wanna say that it actually just in itself means a lot that people are wanting to help me or at least vocally reaching out because like.. this is such a big world we're living in and its so easy to feel like i dont mean shit or matter for shit or can change shit at all so its nice to know that like. I dunno.. im glad i was able to kinda find this space for myself because like i dont really have a social life and without you guys (using "you guys" as a general word for all of my online friends rn) i wouldn't have anyone else to turn to
And also I don't perceive you guys wanting to help me as pity at all and really its kind of just validation because I'm basically 24/7 doubting myself and "am I valid for x, am I valid for y" so when im having kind of a crisis and people actually say "shit bro you ok" that feels better than like. I dunno. What does mother usually say. Stuff that's meant to be supportive but is kind of just toxic positivity like "You're overreacting and don't even think about it" which, those can be valid grounding techniques but like, you usually try and soothe the initial feeling first and then tell yourself not to think about it if you're obsessing over it
So I typed up what accidentally turned into a huge paragraph but, as nice as an Amazon wishlist sounds --because it makes me feel good people like me and gifts are always nice of course-- I would feel guilty for even making that public, and, to be realistic, my rent is very cheap and the only reason I don't have a lot of savings is because I keep spending money on bullshit. I kind of need to exercise restraint and actually save money because uh like I've been working for like 2 or 3 years now and I basically still have what I started with. So. I guess TLDR is "i would feel guilty accepting gifts i can technically afford for myself and also I would feel like a total chump beggar 😔". Maybe when I learn more self kindness I'll feel less guilt accepting gifts I guess? Where i am right now, it just feels like I'm being, I dunno, manipulative
Monetary donations are kind of the same and I'm stricter on that and try not to take money unless there's some kind of emergency. I do worry about money a lot but its usually always in the "how can I support myself on my own in the future" sense. I mean, most people put away a small part of every paycheck, but my savings account actually kind of expired and got closed so I just have the one checking one and uh, it's easy for me to keep pulling out of it, you know 💀 but that circles back to "i have to personally learn how to exercise financial restraint" and also like. Let's not. Think about how all the socioeconomic policies in America aren't even remotely in my control so I should uh try and ignore that technically no job is paying enough and everyone has to have roommates or a spouse to afford anything 😅
And also. Yeah I'm ok on like therapy funds and stuff because I'm actually on state insurance, actually I'm trying to cut down my work hours to guarantee I stay in the right financial bracket so I can keep it. I was talking to a couple people last night and I might consider going to a doctor again soon but im really hesitant about it. It kinda seems like I need a more thorough evaluation from a psychiatrist and. Well.
I think my first "big goal" for right now is that I should put some money aside and. Uh. Well. Kinda quit my job for a while so I can focus on those sorts of things. I feel really bad even saying that but the fact is, the fact is, im a person with severe mental illness and depression and my current job involves random strangers constantly constantly treating me like shit and sometimes getting very verbally abusive and aggressive and sometimes just having someone suddenly approach me can be very startling? Did I ever tell you guys about the time a random older man just came up from behind me and briefly grabbed me from behind? It was ad a joke and I was on edge watching my peripheral vision for motion that entire week
So I guess to make a long story short I think I should. Focus on what I want to do in terms of medicine right now and really fight to pursue the fact I think some really important diagnoses have been missed, and to do that without a lot of stress, to have a flexible schedule to see a doctor, I think the best decision is to take off work for a while, which I think is a good idea anyways? So to do that with a clear conscience I just want to have a few months of my portion of rent and then some extra in my bank account so I won't have to stress about immediately getting back to work or getting a new job. Because that's another decision I have to make: for I want to brave the current job market and look for another job and risk the one I currently have.
Long answer is long but I have a lot of thoughts right now 💀 talking with you guys has been a huge help in of itself so thats the only payment I'll accept for right now 🥰
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